Personal Demons
by Mickey1980
Summary: After nearly being killed by Nicole, Brooke confronts her demons - literally. Slight cross with "Supernatural" the world of, but no characters . Warning: Femslash - Don’t like it/Don’t read it.
1. For Those Who Tuned in Late

_For Those Who Tuned in Late..._

"Brooke – NO!"

Brooke didn't hear Sam shouting at her. She didn't see Nicole's face grinning as she stepped on the accelerator. All she saw were the headlights, all she heard was herself screaming.

She didn't have time to feel her legs break when the car hit her. She didn't have time to feel her ribs shatter when she hit the windshield. She was unconscious before the pain had time to register.

Sam saw Brooke's body fly over the top of the car, but she couldn't scream, only drop to her knees. She saw Brooke hit the pavement, but she couldn't move. She saw the car speed off, but she couldn't look at the car, just the broken, bleeding girl lying in the street.

It was Harrison who moved first. He'd followed Brooke and Sam outside just in time to see Brooke hit the ground. He and Sam moved at the same time, running to Brooke, Harrison shouting for someone to call 911.

Brooke heard none of the screaming and shouting. She didn't hear Sam sobbing. She didn't hear her reluctant stepsister say "Please be okay Brooke, please..." She simply wasn't there anymore.


	2. White Noise

White Noise.

The hospital was chaos when the slight girl on the stretcher was wheeled in. Doctors shouted instructions as they rushed her into surgery. It was still chaos when Harrison and Sam arrived, followed soon after by Mike and Jane. It was only later, as the agonizing minutes turned into hours that a kind of strange calm took over. Perhaps it was just the shock settling in.

The doctors were, frankly, amazed she was alive, and determined to keep her that way, though, in truth, they didn't really hold out much hope. The broken bones were set, the gashes were stitched, but the internal injuries, the damage to the spine, to the brain, this would take longer, if it could be fixed at all.

It was daybreak before a desperate Mike saw an exhausted surgeon walk towards the group that had expanded to include Lily, Josh and Carmen. The police had already come and questioned Sam and Harrison, but they were in too much shock to be of any real use.

"How is she?" Sam was the first to speak, pre-empting Mike.

"She's alive and stable" was the doctor's reply, "though, frankly, I don't know how. She suffered multiple fractures and took a nasty blow to the head."

"Is she going to be okay?" This time Mike got his sentence out before Sam.

The surgeon sighed, "I wish I could tell you, but right now, she's just lucky to be alive." He paused, and added, "there were internal injuries and we'll have to wait for the swelling to go down before we can even tell how extensive the damage to her spine is." He went on about the possibility she'd be paralysed, that there could be brain damage, all the while trying to reassure them that nothing was certain, and reminding them that she'd already exceeded everyone's expectations just by being alive. No one could really focus, their grief overwhelming them.


	3. River of Darkness

River of Darkness.

Elsewhere – Brooke felt like she was floating adrift on a vast ocean. It was quiet here, safe from all the noise and bright lights. She was alone.

But then there were waves and noise, and flashes of memory. Her mother leaving her. Everyone leaving her. She heard her own voice screaming:

"You _fat_, ugly bitch!"

"Why would he pick _you_? Why the hell _should _he?"

"Who'd want to sleep with _your _fat ass anyway?"

She could feel the tears stinging her cheeks.

"Why would anyone want _you_? Your _mom _didn't. She took one look at you and wished she'd had an _abortion_! She couldn't get away _fast _enough."

"S-Stop... _please_" she whimpered, but the screaming continued.

"They're so lucky to be rid of you! – Pretending to be everything! You know what you are – NOTHING!! – Just a festering pile of shit!!"

Brooke screamed as she sank into the black water.


	4. The End?

The... End?

Brooke awoke outside of Kennedy High School, but she barely recognized it. The windows were shattered, the walls crumbling, the grass burned to sand. She saw students and teachers, but no one looked at her, no one talked to her.

Inside, she saw empty lockers and graffiti-covered walls, everyone was milling about, but no one was going anywhere. Then she saw Nicole.

"What are you doing here, _Broo_-ken?" she sneered, turning Brooke's name into an insult.

"I... I don't know" she tried to say, but Nicole interrupted her, "No one wants you here, _Brookie_, no one ever did. You fooled everyone for awhile, but now _ev_eryone _knows_."

Brooke sniffed, tears running down her cheeks. "Kn... Knows what?" she managed to stammer.

"That you're nothing under the mask you put on, just a big, _fat_, nobody" she sneered, putting special emphasis on the word 'fat.'

Brooke tried to stammer out a reply, but could only sob.

"Why don't you just leave" Nicole sneered, her voice deepening, her face shifting into something inhuman.

"NO ONE WANTS YOU – NO ONE EVER WILL!!" the demon screamed.

Brooke screamed as she ran into the Novak, slamming the door behind her.

She quickly realized she wasn't alone in the room, and was about to run when a strangely deep, yet feminine voice told her to come in. It belonged to a hooded figure, who now turned to face the terrified girl. Where it's face should be, she saw only a white mask. The figure motioned towards the center of the room and told her to sit down.

"Who are you?" she said, sinking into the chair.

"No one important" the figure replied. "No one at all."

"What do you want from me?" she tried to sound less afraid than she felt.

"I have something that belongs to you Brooke, something you can't live without."

"Wh-What?" she was losing her battle to appear calm.

"Why, you face, of course!" it said, as it pulled off the mask. Underneath, she saw nothing. Not just an absence of a person or object, but the void that people feel in the dark when they realize that a loved one's never coming back, or that someone dead's truly gone.

It reached to put the mask on her. It slid easily onto her face.

"There" it said, triumphantly, "Now they'll all love you again, their good little Brooke."

Brooke turned towards the mirror and saw herself. She was wearing her Glamazon uniform and her hair and makeup were – well – _perfect_. She looked like she'd always looked, like everyone expected her to look.

"You see, dear, that's all they every wanted. As long as you keep it on they'll all love you."

"But that's... not _me_," she said, pointing at her reflection.

"Well, of course not, moron," the figure grunted, grabbing her arm. "Who the hell wants to see you? No one cares about you, only _her_" pointing at the mirror.

Brooke pulled her arm back. "No, that's not true!" she screamed. She pulled at the mask, but it was stuck.

"Fine!" the figure shouted back, in a voice that sounded more and more like Brooke's own, "but, believe me, no one will ever want you now."

Brooke screamed as the mask was ripped off of her face in swift motion, pulling skin and muscle off with it.

Then it was quiet, for just a moment, in hell.

But just for a moment.

Then the screaming started again.

It always does.


	5. Back at the Ranch

Back at the Ranch.

Sam was visiting Brooke in the hospital. It was late and visiting hours were actually over, but the nurses either hadn't noticed that Sam was still there or hadn't the heart to ask her to leave.

Brooke slipped into a coma after her surgery three months ago and showed no signs of stirring. The doctors said that they couldn't tell how extensive the brain damage was, but they were sure she wasn't brain-dead. The EEG showed some activity, too much for someone to be written off.

Sam was telling Brooke about her and Harrison, their friendship had survived his choosing Brooke over her – at least on paper – but they didn't spend much time together anymore. Of course, the fact that Sam spent as much time as they would allow her with Brooke was a factor to, but Sam didn't mention the last part. Instead, she told Brooke how Josh and Lily had separately for awhile, but pulled it together at the last minute. She didn't mention how much she had actually helped them through their marital problems. She told Brooke how Nicole had been arrested, but, despite Brooke's injuries, got a wrist-slap for her troubles, claiming it was an accident.

Mike has testified to Nicole's rant at the Palace, but, snake-like, Nicole convinced everyone she was only going to the prom to make a scene and destroy Brooke _socially_. Hitting her was an accident. After all, hadn't _Brooke _run out into the middle of the street?

Despite the turmoil, everyone was trying to move on. School was starting up, but everyone was dreading walking the halls of Kennedy High without Brooke there.

Then Brooke woke up.


	6. Downtime

Downtime.

Every day, Brooke tried to remember more about her old life, re-learning some people's names and trying to catch up with months of school work, but the memories of three months in hell overwhelmed her, especially at night when the memories flooded back and she'd wake up sweating.

She remembered what happened to her next. She remembered the pain of the 'Brooke McQueen' mask being ripped from her face. When she'd come back to her senses, her hands flew to her face, unsure what she'd find. She was confused but relieved to find her face was still there. Then she remembered the mysterious figure and looked around, wondering where the next assault on her sanity would come from. Seeing no one, she lifted herself off the floor and peeked out the doors of the Novak and saw Harrison walking towards her, she was about to speak to him, but he spoke first.

"What do you want?" he sneered. "Didn't you hear? _No _one wants your boring-ass self, weren't you listening? Damn! Like I'd have ever picked _you _if I'd seen under the mask!"

Brooke realized, as she slumped to the floor, that this was the thing that she'd had screamed at her before, only this time it had Harrison's face.

"What do you what?" she begged, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Wow! You really are a stupid little bitch! What do you think I want? I want to _hurt _you, just like you hurt everyone else you've ever met!"

"But.. I didn't... mean to" she sobbed.

"Of _course _not," the creature sneered, "you _always _had such _good _intentions."

"Why are you doing this to me?" was all she could whimper.

"Because you _deserve _it, moron! This is _hell_, in case you were too _dumb _to figure it out – you end up here because you _deserve _it! You know you deserve it. Look what you did to Josh and Carmen, look what you put Sam through over me."

"You're _not _Harrison," she spat.

"No, not really, he'd never just stand up to you and tell you what a worthless _bitch _you are, using his obsession with you to one-up Sam so you could trick everyone into thinking you're a good person."

"I didn't..." she gagged, coughing up more blood. "I didn't do that – I _care _about him."

"Sure you do _Brook-en,_ that's why you led him away from Sam and into your bed. You just love him _so _much! – You were _using _him, just like you _use _everyone. Just another plan to make you feel good about yourself. You're so fucking pathetic!"

"I didn't..." she repeated, but the more she listened, the more she realized it was true. She didn't love the boy, she loved how he adored her, how effortless it was to extract adoration from him. How... _perfect _it made her feel. She was weeping now. Her companion just laughed.

"Ah, what's the matter Brookie, truth hurt?" it had Nicole's voice and face now. "Really, though, how surprised can you be? I use _you _to pull myself up the food chain, Sam uses her little crusade against _us _to make _her _feel that her sad little life isn't the horrific waste of time that we all know it _really _is, Josh uses you to make himself look like the king stud in front of his friends, and you use Harrison to make everything think you're a nice, sensitive girl, interested in more than just a guy with a nice car, or a butt you could break a two-by-four on. See? Everyone uses _someone_."

Brooke could no longer argue as blackness overtook her again.


	7. Pandemonium

Pandemonium.

When she woke up, she was outside the palace – or what passed for it in her personal hell, as she realized this was. Warily, she walked towards the house, but stopped at the kitchen window. Inside she saw Sam and her father, yelling at each other, but she couldn't hear what about. She never remembered seeing her father act like that, then remembered that it wasn't really him. Then he slapped Sam.

"Ohmygod!" Brooke thought, "What if Sam's here too? – No – Why would _she _be? She'd never done anything to deserve this... not like me."

"Lovely domestic scene, isn't it?" Brooke turned around to see her mother, or something that looked like her mother, smiling at her.

"Yes, practically a Norman Rockwell picture. I wonder why I left – Oh yes! I remember, that whiny, pudgy little slug that kept crawling after me, calling me '_Mom_.'"

"Shut up!" Brooke hissed. "You're _not _my mother."

"Oh thank goodness," Kelly replied, "Imagine the disappointment I'd have to deal with, having a bleached, bloated _maggot _like _you _crawl out of my belly – I might have to leave town, change my name, and deny any connection to you – Oh wait! I _did_!" she giggled.

Even if it wasn't her mother, the words hurt Brooke. Once again, tears rolled down her cheeks. "Aw" the beast sneered, grabbing Brooke by the arm. "Let's go visit, shall we?"

Inside, Mike – or what looked like him – Brooke had to remind herself, was screaming at Sam. "You couldn't just stay out of it, could you! Now everyone knows!"

"Knows what dear?" Kelly asked, still holding Brooke by the hair.

"Dammit! Why'd you have to bring _that _back here?" Mike asked. "Can't we just dump her somewhere? An orphanage? The pound?"

"Oh, I'm sure we'll find a convenient rug to sweep the dirt under." Kelly said, smiling. "So what's up with this one?" she asked, gesturing towards Sam.

"Oh _that_," Mike sneered. "It's bad enough we have this... _thing _for a daughter," he pointed at Brooke, "but this bitch has to write her little _exposés _and tell the whole world that it's all a lie."

"What's a lie, dear?" Kelly asked, in a sickly sweet tone. She released Brooke, shoving her into the corner.

"Little miss _perfect _here," Mike pointed a Brooke again. "Our perfect daughter – cheerleader, thin, smart, popular, but really just a worthless slug in a pretty disguise."

Brooke was sobbing again now. Even if these weren't her parents, everything they said was so close to her own doubts that it was killing her to hear it.

"I'm sorry to wreak you're pretty little world, Mr. McQueen," Sam – if it was Sam, Brooke wondered – said, "but people were looking _up _to her. _Someone _had to show them what a _fake _she is."

"No, not Sam," Brooke realized.

"Shut up!" Mike shouted. Brooke remembered what happened earlier in the Novak, how that thing had told her to keep her 'mask' on – to be what everyone expected. Now, she realized, that without it, she was... nothing.


	8. Rain in Hell

Rain in Hell.

Brooke sat in her room, which, in this version of the Palace consisted of an empty room with defaced photos of herself covering the walls and a large, cracked, mirror. She was staring into it, voices running though her mind – Harrison, Sam, her mother and father – even Nicole. All of them were telling her she was worthless, a failure, a disappointment.

She knew that the Harrison doppelgänger was right about her treatment of the real Harrison. She'd used him to – to what? – prove that Sam was wrong, that she wasn't superficial? She'd used Josh to. He was the boyfriend she was _supposed _to have, he made her look good, like she was supposed to. Then, when her perfect life wasn't perfect enough, she turned to Harrison, poor, sweet little puppy-dog Harrison, to show everyone that she was a real person, not just a plastic, Barbie-doll bitch. "I hope he's not crying over me," she thought.

Harrison had, in fact, cried over Brooke, but – if he was being perfectly honest – he might have admitted that he was crying as much for his missed opportunity to be with as he was for the tragedy of his friend lying comatose in a hospital room, with only her so-called stepsister to keep her company. He visited her every day at first, bringing flowers and telling her he loved her and how much he wanted her to wake up, but it had tapered off a bit, as he became less certain that it would actually happen.

Brooke didn't know this, but wouldn't have been surprised. She spent days staring at the mirror in her room, wondering who she was looking at. Even the frequent visits from her tormentor in various guises weren't the distraction they should have been. She'd gone numb.

One day it was yelling at her, dressed as her father, telling her how disappointed he was, when it stopped, smiling to itself when it realized that she was almost completely broken. It was ready to finish it now. It was ready to be Sam.

"Hey Brooke, what's up?" Sam asked, sitting down next to the blond. Brooke stared at the mirror, as if trying to find something.

"Sam?" Brooke turned for a second, but then turned back to her reflection. "Nothing much," she answered, "just looking."

"For what?" Sam said, squinting.

"For me," Brooke answered.

"Ooo-kay" Sam said, rolling her eyes. "You know, I see you right there," she said, pointing at Brooke's reflection.

"But I don't know who _she _is," Brooke sighed.

"Well," ventured Sam, arching an eyebrow, "cheerleader, thin, A-student, boy-magnet..."

"That's not really me, Sam."

"Oh? It _sounds _like you."

"No, that's just a mask I had on. It's not me."

"Well, gee Brooke, I don't think there's much else, do you?"

"Actually, I do, and I'm don't care how much you try to tell me otherwise anymore. I'm not listening, and you can stop pretending to be Sam."

The demon's look of disdain rivalled one from Nicole on her worst day. "You think you're all _that_, do you? I think we _all _know what you _really _are."

"No, you don't, and neither do I really, but I'm not pretending to be someone else anymore."

"Then what _good _are you?"

"I'll find out." Brooke was smiling now.

In her hospital room, Sam was holding Brooke's hand, rambling about everyone's life, a life they all wanted to include Brooke again.

"You really think anyone gives a rat's ass about the 'real' you?" the demon wore no disguise now, it's black eyes glared at Brooke, who was still smiling.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she said calmly, "I do – and I don't deserve to be here."

The beast screamed as Brooke felt a cool breeze on her face, like rain after a heat wave.

Then Brooke woke up.


	9. Rebuilding

Rebuilding.

Brooke lay in her bed, shaking. She remembered. But what was it? A dream? A nightmare? "It couldn't have been _real_," she told herself.

The morning found Brooke feeling stiff and sore. Physiotherapy was helping, but she was certainly not up for cheerleading, that was certain. She wondered why she didn't feel sad about that. "Did I enjoy it?" she wondered. She knew that she _should _have, especially the popularity that came with it. Now, she reminded herself, she needed to find out what she _did _like, not what she was _supposed _to like, and to find out who _she _was, rather than being who she was _supposed _to be.

Looking around her room, she noted how it had changed since her 'resurrection,' gone were the posters, the pink clothes, the traces of 'cuteness' that was expected in the room of a 'pretty girl.' Instead, her bed wore a dark blue duvet. Her walls had art prints and there was nothing pink to be seen.

It was later that day that Brooke asked Sam to talk. Their parents were out and Brooke wanted to make sure she had Sam alone, just in case there were trademark 'Sam vs. Brooke' raised voices.

"So what's on your mind?" she asked the former cheerleader, taking a seat on Brooke's bed.

"Well, you may have noticed that I'm not really the same person? I mean, from _before _the accident?"

"Yeah, it's fairly obvious, you hardly _ever _yell at me anymore and you've actually been almost _pleasant _to be around." Sam smirked as she said it.

"Super-funny Sam" Brooke sneered, "but you know I mean it."

"I do too – you _have _been pleasant to be around – what happened?"

"That's kinda what I wanted to talk about," the blond girl sighed. "I don't remember a lot of it. I mean, I remember us asking Harrison to choose, I remember running out of the prom, I remember the headlights, but I don't remember what he said and I _don't _remember the car hitting me."

"That's probably a good thing, ya know?"

"Maybe, but I don't remember being upset. I mean, I remember crying, but I can't remember what I was _feeling _that was making me cry."

"Again," Sam replied, "a _good _thing, I'd say."

"And I don't remember Josh," Brooke continued. "I half-remember some conversations – but not much – and all I remember about sex is this horrific feeling of something... _inside _me and wanting it out."

"Well, you never _raved _about your sex life, Brooke."

"I don't really remember if I raved about it or not, but I believe you."

"Thanks. Usually, you'd argue with me just to argue..."

"I know," Brooke interrupted, "and I'm sorry... but I just wanted you to know, I've... figured out something."

Sam's response was an arched eyebrow and a look a expectation – saying "Well? What?" without using words.

"I realized that I haven't actually _changed _at all, I've just stopped... _pretending_."

"Pretending what?"

"To be someone else, someone who's so _perfect _her mother _wouldn't _abandon her, who'd _never _be the second choice. – Do you know I didn't ever realize what my favorite _color _was? I was so busy worrying about what I _should _like that I never stopped to find out what I _did _like."

"And what _do _you like?" Sam's eyebrow was arching again.

"Lots of things, dark blue," she pointed at the duvet, "wearing loose, unfashionable jeans, _eating _for God's sake! I _love _to eat! What the _hell _was I doing starving myself? and for what? – to be _perfect_? What the _hell _was I doing?!"

Sam started to speak, but Brooke was on a roll, "I mean, I _hate _pink, I _hate _cheerleading, I _hate _thinking I can't _talk _to someone or _do _something because it'll make me _look _bad."

At this point Sam was smiling – almost laughing, really, as Brooke ranted on.

"And I _never _loved Josh, I _never _loved Harrison – except maybe as a little brother_ – and I n_ever liked boys! and..." her voice trailed off and her eyes widened.

"_Excuse _me?!" Sam was on her feet now, as wide-eyed as the blond. A good journalist couldn't let a revelation like _that _slip by without clarification.

Brooke looked stunned for a second, then a huge grin spread across her face.

"I never... liked... _boys_" she said, slowly, savoring the words. "I _never _liked boys." She turned to Sam, repeating the words with undisguised glee: "I never liked boys Sam – not _ever_. That's why sex with Josh and Harrison was so bad. It wasn't their fault _or _mine. They was just... wrong."

"Whoa!" Sam interrupted the blissed-out blond, "You mean you're a..."

"Lesbian" Brooke finished, grinning with undisguised enthusiasm. "Yes... Lezzz...Beeee...Annn," she repeated, her face beaming. I could have _never _said that before, could I? – Hell, you don't get to be Homecoming Queen by being a dyke, do ya? God! I was soooo _stupid_."

"Sam was starting to get caught up in Brooke's wave of giddiness. "So, you're gay? Wow! _That's _news. You must have gotten quite the hit on the head."

"Oh Sammie, don't you see? I just don't _care _anymore – I mean, about what everybody _thinks_."

"And you had _no _idea before?" Sam was in full-on '_get-the-facts_' reporter mode now.

Brooke tilted her head, thinking. "You know _what_? I think I _always _knew – that's the stupid thing. I _always _knew and I kept telling myself it wasn't real and it would just go away if I ignored it. First Josh, then Harrison – Poor _Harrison_! He should have picked _you_."

"I guess," Sam replied, in a non-committal way. She had her tongue poking her cheek in her 'I'm thinking' mode. In truth, Harrison hadn't held out a lot of hope for himself and Brooke. Their visits had been friendly and relaxed for the most part. Brooke realized that, as long as no mention was made of them being a couple, she actually enjoyed his company, but, whenever he brought up their 'relationship' she stiffened. Eventually, he realized that it wasn't going to happen and stopped visiting, at least until he and Sam had it out and she reminded him that, relationship or not, he was damned lucky to have Brooke in his life, "just as a friend" or not. After some raised voices – and some tears, he'd admitted she was right. Brooke was never told about that night. Sam let her think that Harrison came to the mature conclusion on his own, and the triad's friendship slowly began to rebuild itself.

Sam herself, has done her own soul-searching regarding her best friend, wondering more than once if she'd only wanted him because she wanted to prove that she could actually take something that Brooke wanted. She'd hated herself both for what she saw as petty, Nicole-like, behavior and for hurting her two best friends in the process.

Now, Brooke was standing here in front of her, telling her that she'd never really wanted him either. Sam couldn't help but be curious, "Did Brooke also have an ulterior motive for pursuing Harrison?"

Finally, she spoke. "So Brooke..."

"Yes?" the blond replied.

"Who'd _you _pick?"

"Huh?" Brooke hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Well, if you didn't love Josh _or _Harrison – who _did _you love?"

Brooke was stunned by the question. Who did she love? Had she ever really been in love with anyone? She searched her feelings and the answer hit her so hard so collapsed onto the bed.

"Are you ok!?" Sam thought for a second Brooke was hurt – maybe her injuries from the crash?

"Yes, yes! I'm fine. After all this time, I'm _fine_. I was just thinking about your question."

"And?"

"I _have _been in love – _really _in love – once."

"Really?" Sam was excited now, she had to know the answer to _this _one.

"I don't think... I should tell you," Brooke answered, her grin disappeared.

"WHAT!! No _way _McQueen, you _cannot _dump all _that _on me and not tell me the _best _part! Who is it? Is it someone we know? Oh God! It's not Nicole"

"What! _No_!" Brooke made a face like she was about to spew on the carpet.

"Then who? C'mon – I won't tell anyone – off the record, I _promise_." Sam made a criss-cross pattern across her chest.

Brooke stood up, looking Sam in the eye. "Trust me, you don't... want to know."

Sam's grin faded as she started to wonder if she did, in fact, what do know the answer to her own question. Only the reporter in her couldn't let a question go unanswered.

"So," she, said, turning away from Brooke, "does this.. girl – it _is _a girl, I'm assuming?" she asked, turning to face Brooke again.

Brooke nodded.

"So this... _girl_, doesn't know?"

"That's right."

"And you're not going to tell her, because...?"

"Because she's not _like _me, Sam. She's..she's straight and would just run away screaming, and..."

"Oh I don't think it'd be _that _bad. I mean, even if she's _not _gay, I doubt she'd _freak _on you."

"Oh no, she _would_, I'm _sure _she would."

"How do you _know_?" Sam folded her arms, challenging the blond.

"Well," Brooke said, moving toe-to-toe with the inquiring reporter, "wouldn't _you_?"

Sam started to falter, wondering if she should keep pushing, but she did anyway, "_like a good reporter_" she thought. "Well, I don't _think _I'd freak out, I mean, I.. I don't _know _how I'd react, but I'd want to _know _at least."

"Why so you could _laugh _about it? So you could go tell Harrison.."

"Hold up McQueen!" Sam held her hand up in front of Brooke's face. "My name is _not _Nicole!"

Brooke deflated a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know that's not you."

"Good" Sam smiled, "now suppose you just _answer _my question?"

"Are you _sure_?" Brooke hesitated.

"Yes, I'm sure." Sam replied. They were toe-to-toe again. A familiar place for the two women.

"It's... _you _Sam. It's _always _been you."

Sam swallowed. "Wow... I wasn't sure.."

"Oh _please_! You _knew_. You just wanted to hear me _say _it."

"Maybe, but... _why_? All we ever _did _is fight."

"All _I _ever did was stare at you, and then try and avoid you _and _what I was feeling, and then drive you _away _anytime you got close."

"Ah, it was all too keep _you _from admitting what you just admitted?"

"Yes, Sam it was. _Every _time I saw you I _felt _things that 'good little straight cheerleader Brooke' _shouldn't _be feeling. Hell, I even know _why _I picked Harrison."

Sam gave another "Well..?" look to Brooke.

"If _I_ got Harrison, it proved I was 'good enough' and not a big _fat _failure. It meant that I was that 'good little straight girl' and..." she paused. Sam shuffled her feet. "It meant that he wouldn't have _you_, and... I wouldn't be left alone."

Both girls were reeling from the last revelation. Finally, Brooke said, "Then, when he picked me, it was... empty. I _still _wasn't good enough, even if _he _wanted me, I was still stuck with these... _feelings _and... and... I'd lost _you_. – you'd never want _me_, not after doing that to you. Oh God! I probably _jumped _in front of Nicole's car!"

"I _really _hope you're kidding about that part!" Sam sounded angry, but her face didn't show it.

"Don't worry, Sammie, I think I am."

"Wow" was all Sam could muster after a moment. "You seem to have it _all _figured out."

"It's easy, ya know? – When you don't _lie _to yourself, when you just _accept _who you are and _don't _try to wear a mask."

"No kidding – Whatever happened to that _mask_, anyway?"

"I... I pulled it off Sam. It... _hurt _and it was... _bloody _– _Horror _movie bloody."

"_Ewwww_," Sam shivered, picturing what Brooke was describing in the way only someone whose seen Hollywood special effects could imagine.

Seeing the look of revulsion on Sam's face, Brooke said, "Don't worry, I'm not going to _hit on _you, or anything. I know you're not like me."

Sam stood up straight. "Oh it's not _that_, I was just picturing what you described – Kinda graphic."

"If she only _knew _I wasn't be figurative!" Brooke thought.

"So you're _not _disgusted?" She arched an eyebrow at Sam.

"No! – of _course _not."

"But _you've _never...?" The blond was smirking now.

Sam took a deep breath. "Well, I'm not saying I've never _thought _about it, but I enjoyed being with George – _and _Harrison."

"I'm sure you did," Brooke answered, turning away. "Look! – Like I said, don't _worry_, I'm _not _out to... _turn _you or anything. Look at it _this _way, at least I'll never try to steal another boyfriend from you. I bet you could still get Harrison – if you _wanted_."

"Actually, we already talked about that," Sam whispered. It was barely audible, but Brooke heard it.

"What!?" She spun around, glaring at Sam. "When was this?"

"Last week – but we both agreed that... well, we _love _each other, we really do, but... we've been best friends all our lives and it's hard to be anything else, esp. after _I_ picked George over him, he picked _you _over me. It just shows how we're not meant to be – Does that make sense?"

Brooke thought for a moment. "Yes, actually, it _does _– Just like you and I are step-sisters and..."

"Well that's _not _the same thing at _all_." Sam actually sounded surprised with herself as she said it.

"What do you mean?" Brooke looked puzzled now.

"Well, Harrison and I were friends since we were kids, and we _chose _to be friends. You and I have just been... well, _living _here for a year or so and it _wasn't _our decision. We just kinda... adapted to it."

"So, what does _that _mean?" Brooke had a lump in her throat and her stomach was in knots.

"I guess it means..." Sam was walking towards Brooke now, but not really looking at anything. "It means that..."

"What?" Brooke was shaking.

"Oh my _God_!" Sam shouted, as years of repressed feelings finally boiled over. She fell onto the bed, giggling. "I was staring at _you _too! I picked fights with you to get your attention! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!!" she kept repeating, her face in the pillow.

Brooke couldn't stand anymore. She fell down onto her knees by the bed. She was starting to cry. Sam looked up, grinning widely, and then noticed the blond's tears.

"Oh Brooke! No! Don't you get it? I _love _you too!" Sam couldn't stop grinning. "I – Love – You – Too." She threw her arms around the sobbing girl and didn't let go for quite awhile.

Finally, with tears running down their faces and grinning at the same time, they faced each other.

"I love you Brooke."

"I love you too Sam."

And they kissed for the first time.


	10. Smoke, Mirrors, etc

Smoke, Mirrors, etc.

Across town, Harrison John was looking at some (relatively tame) online porn. Losing Brooke and Sam hadn't exactly helped his sex life. Deep down, he secretly wondered – as had some of their friends – if the whole 'thing' with Sam and Brooke – the fighting, the insults, etc., weren't just hiding something altogether different. Of course, he was looking at a picture of a different blond and brunette who were certainly _not _fighting as he thought this.

He didn't see the black smoke creeping in through his air vent.

A few minutes later a very _different _Harrison John stood up, kicking his chair back.

"Those BITCHES!!" he shouted as his eyes turned black.


	11. Bliss Fleeting Bliss

11. Bliss... Fleeting Bliss

Sam and Brooke had, of course, kissed people before, so they were familiar with the sensations, the scents, the various feelings that the act of kissing someone created in them. At least, they thought they were. The truth is, nothing in their previous experience had prepared them for what happened when their lips met, tentatively, even hesitantly. Even the initial, slight touch made them feel flushed, and Sam pulled back for a moment, her breath coming in short bursts.

Looking at Brooke's face, she saw the blond's eyes glazed, with a look of shock on her face. A pleasant shock, but still a shock. Sam moved to kiss her again, this time sucking Brooke's lower lip into her mouth with just a hint of pressure, then, opening her mouth, she captured the upper lip instead.

It was a half-hour later that they finally spoke. Brooke's leg began to cramp painfully from kneeling on the floor. Sam asked her if she was okay. She answered that she needed to get up and Sam helped her onto her bed. There was an awkward moment when Sam wondered if she should sit down next to her blond housemate. Brooke's hand on her hip gently pushing made the decision for her. A moment later Sam was lying on her back and Brooke was kissing her again. Another hour passed before they spoke again.

"Wow," was all Sam managed to say. "Yeah," Brooke replied.

"I didn't... I never..." Sam, usually the quickest to articulate her thoughts, had no way how to tell Brooke that nothing she'd ever felt in her life compared to this. Much later, when she wasn't reeling from the surprise – and (frankly) the sexual arousal – she was experiencing, she'd tell Brooke how she'd always wondered why she'd never felt swept away by a kiss like the girls in books and in the movies.

She'd written it off as hype, something that just didn't happen to real people. She'd assumed that the somewhat pleasant, mildly distracting sensations she'd felt when others kissed her were how it really was. Now, she realized, she'd just never kissed the right person. Now, she realized that everything she'd ever heard about the perfect kiss was possible.

Later, she'd explain that to Brooke. For now, it was just too difficult to form a coherent sentence.

Fortunately, she didn't need to explain it. Brooke was feeling exactly the same way. She waited for this feeling every time she'd kissed Josh. She'd wondered what was wrong with her when she'd felt nothing when the boy made love to her in that same bed she was kissing Sam on.

She'd blamed herself at first. After all, that was her first reaction most of the time. Later she admitted that he was probably to blame as well, with his excess of excitement and lack of experience. Now, she realized, that is was, in a sense, her fault, because she should never have been there with him in the first place.

Later, the two women would discuss all of this. Later, when they lay next to each other on the bed, stroking each other's hair, touching each other's faces, holding each other's hands, not wanting to go a second without touching some part of the other. Their words would come in whispers, punctuated with nervous laughter and deep, contented sighs.

But for now, there were no words, just smiles, happy tears, and kissing.


	12. Gnashing of Teeth

12. Gnashing of Teeth.

There are private moments, moments so important that they shouldn't be intruded upon by anyone not directly involved. Unfortunately, Brooke and Sam's shared moment wasn't just theirs. Outside their window, someone who looked like Harrison John was watching. Now with his eyes, perhaps, but he looked up at Brooke's window, at the drawn curtain, and he could _see_.

The demon chuckled to himself as, in the back of his mind, Harrison struggled to free himself. There was no chance he would, not when his own pain at what he was seeing was overwhelming him. Here was Brooke, his dream girl, in the arms of his best friend, and here he was, outside in the cold, with only a monster to keep him company.

The demon savored Harrison's pain like a fine wine. Breathing deeply as he felt the boy's heart break.

"That's enough for tonight boy," he finally said. "We've got a lot of work to do."

As he turned back towards Harrison's home, he added, as an afterthought, "Don't worry Harry, you'll get your revenge, even if you don't have the balls to admit you want it."

Harrison's screaming was like music to his ears.


	13. New, Shiny

13. New, Shiny.

The two girls finally managed to extricate themselves from Brooke's bed, knowing that their parents would be home soon. They agreed that they would have to tell the 'rentals' about them eventually, but neither wanted to rush it. On the one hand, it would likely be a scene, with raised voices and attempts to break apart what was building between them – what _had _been building, they admitted, for years. On the other hand, they wanted to hold onto what was happening, feeling it was too precious to be shared – at least for now.

When Mike and Jane came home, they greeted them warmly (perhaps with more enthusiasm than usual), hugging their hellos and fawning over their baby sister. The rest of the day passed without incident, the girls excusing themselves early, ending up in Sam's room, sitting on Sam's bed, talking, holding hands, and smiling constantly, reviewing old stories, laughing at how much trouble to two had caused each other by refusing to recognize what was really going on between them. They talked again about what they would do when, inevitably, everyone found out about them. Finally, before, Brooke reluctantly returned to her own room, they'd agreed to at least tell Lily and Carmen, the least likely to cause them any problems. Brooke kissed Sam goodnight on her forehead. Sam kissed Brooke's hand. Each said "I love you," and then went to bed, though neither would sleep very much that night.


	14. Well, D’uh

14. Well, _D'uh_.

The next day came as usual. The girls got up, dressed and met in the bathroom to put themselves together to face the day. The only variation was the embrace that preceded mouthwash and the lingering kiss that followed it. Next came breakfast and trying to act as "normal" as possible in front of their decidedly oblivious parents. Saying their goodbyes, they left for school.

The day was uneventful. They'd managed to have a moment alone in the Novak – a moment spent holding hands and kissing each other softly. It was a display so sweet as to make the cynical gag. Thankfully, neither was speaking to Nicole Julian.

They arranged to see Lily and Carmen later that day for coffee. Brooke suggested that Sam see them alone.

"They were your friends first. Maybe it'll be better if you talk to them alone – at least at first."

Sam's response was a curt "Nice try McQueen. You are _so _not dumping this on me."

"Damn, I thought that would work," was Brooke's answer. The girls exchanged smirks and blushed at each other for the thousandth time in 24 hours.

"Okay, what's going on?" Lily said abruptly, sitting in the booth, Carmen trailing behind her.

"What do you mean?" the twosome chimed in harmony.

"Of come on, you didn't just invite us out for coffee. That was the most obvious '_we-need-to-talk'_ invitation I've ever seen, so spill it! What's up?"

"Ooookay," Sam finally answered. "We... I..."

"_We_" Brooke interrupted.

"Yes," Sam continued. "_We _just wanted to let you guys know that we found out something this weekend. Something important – but we need to _swear _you to secrecy, at least for the time being."

"What is it?" Carmen's eyes were as wide. Lily said nothing, assuming that 'Bram' (as she'd begun calling them behind their backs) knew her better than to have to ask.

"Well, I'm gay," Sam blurted out.

"So am I," Brooke added.

"And we're..." Sam searched for the word. She and Brooke hadn't really clarified the nature of their relationship, officially.

"A couple," Brooke added, turning to Sam, who smiled her approval of the term.

"Ohmygod!" Carmen looked somewhat deprived on oxygen. Lily just giggled and held out her hand to Carmen.

"Pay up Ferrera!" she said in a very self-satisfied tone.

"WHAT!!" Brooke and Sam said in unison, their jaws (figuratively, at least) hitting the table.

"Oh come on!" Lily fired back. "You've got to be kidding! You two have been the poster-children for 'Unresolved Sexual Tension' for the past couple of years."

The twosome looked at each other. Had everyone figured it out before they did? Apparently they had.

Lily pocketed Carmen's money with a grin. "I told Carmen when you asked us to meet you that I bet today was finally the day you told us you'd gotten together."

"And I thought, 'No _way_, they're still in denial.'" added Carmen.

Mentally, Brooke and Sam kicked themselves again for not having the brains to see what everyone else did.

Brooke wondered, silently, if Nicole and Mary Cherry had figured it out too. Well, maybe not _Mary Cherry_, but Nicole _had _a brain. No _heart _to speak of, but a brain, definitely.

They also both began to realize that their 'secret' might not be a secret for as long as they thought it would.

On the bright side, if everyone reacted positively as Carmen and Lily, that might not be so bad.

Of course, that was a mighty 'if.'

The four chatted for awhile, omitting the salacious details.

Finally, Brooke thought of a terrible question.

"Does Harrison know?"

Sam dropped the cup she'd been drinking from.


	15. Wins Losses

15. Wins... Losses...

Sam wiped up the spilled coffee. She asked Lily and Carmen, her voice betraying her nerves, if Harrison had guessed about her and Brooke, the way they had.

The girls looked at each other, unsure how to respond.

Finally, Lily answered, "Well, we talked about it, but he never really believed it, at least not in Brooke's case."

"Yeah, he said 'Maybe Sam – at least a little – but not _Brooke_,'" Carmen added.

"Wait! Why would he assume..." Sam said, gesturing towards Brooke, "and not..." Sam looked annoyed.

Brooke arched an eyebrow. "And why are _you _offended by him guessing something about you that turned out to true?"

"I'm not, but... why _just _me?" She was pouting now.

Brooke shrugged, "Well, I was _pretending _to be someone I wasn't – you weren't."

Sam was still pouting. "I suppose."

A moment later she added, "I guess we have to tell him next." She bit her lower lip and glanced at Brooke.

"Oh God!" Brooke sighed, putting her face in her hands.

"It won't be _that _bad," Carmen chirped.

Lily looked at her as if she'd suggested Emory was hotter than Brad Pitt.

Brooke just sighed, remembering her last intense conversation with Harrison, a few months earlier, when she was still learning to walk again.

Harrison had come to visit her at home. He had tried to comfort her, reassuring her that she'd be walking again – even cheering – soon.

"I hope so," Brooke answered, "but frankly I don't care if I ever see a pom-pom again."

Harrison looked away. He didn't know how to fix this.

Brooke sighed, and went on. "Have you seen Nicole?"

"I haven't spoken to her – No one has. I mean, she's at school, and still captain of the Glamazons, but none of our friends..."

"She hasn't tried to... talk to anyone?" Brooke looked almost disappointed.

"Oh, she still terrorizes the school, just not us," Harrison commented. "She avoids us, especially Sam."

Brooke smirked. Harrison said, "Listen... forget about her. Once you're walking again, I want to take you out and celebrate, just us. We can..."

"How are you and Sam getting along," she interrupted. She was smiling, but he could see she wasn't comfortable with the subject.

Trying to hide his disappointment, he answered, "We're okay."

"Really?" she pressed him.

"I didn't _choose _her Brooke – that's a big thing to get past."

"I think you will," Brooke reassured him, "get past it, I mean."

"I hope so," Harrison sighed.

"Brooke, I _chose _you. Will _we _get past that?"

"What do you... What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Brooke! I picked you and you stormed out – You were _disappointed_, for God's sake."

Brooke sighed. "I'm sorry – really – I'm so sorry. I just... I realized that... I realized, once I'd '_won_' that it... it wasn't what I wanted."

Harrison's face soured. "You mean_ I _wasn't what you wanted."

Brooke's face was dark. "I'm sorry Harrison," she said to the slamming door.


	16. Blood in the Water

Blood in the Water.

Nicole Julian hated sneaking around – at least when she wasn't doesn't anything sneaky. Yet here she was, peeking into the Novak to make sure no one was there before going in. It'd been like this ever since Brooke came back, ever since their first almost-conversation, which consisted of a near-collision in the hallway followed by the mother of all awkward silences. Sam looked ready to kill her but Brooke held her back, saying "it's not worth it." She looked at Nicole while she said it, making it clear that she meant Nicole simply wasn't 'worth it.'

Since then Nicole made sure to avoid Sam, Brooke and their friends, all the while acting as though she simply considered them all well beneath her, and only avoided them because they weren't '_worth bothering with_.' After all, _Brooke _had chosen to those losers over her, and deserved to rot in loserdom with them.

But today she had a headache and really didn't want to deal with any confrontation. So she crept into the Novak and took some Tylenol out of her purse, walking to the sink for some water. Swallowing the pills she almost gagged as she realized that someone was behind her.

"Hi Nic!" Harrison's smile beamed as he threw his arm around the stunned girl. "How's things?"

"How the _fuck _did you get in here!" she screamed. She was sure the room was empty.

"Oh Nikki, relax," was the response. He tried to massage her shoulders, adding, "You'll have a heart attack with all that stress."

She pushed him away, glaring at him. "What's up with you? You're acting weirder than usual. Playing at being possessed again?"

Harrison laughed. "No, no. Nothing so... _exotic _– I'm just in a _very _good mood, and _you're _going to make it even better."

"I'm not doing anything to make _you _feel 'better' freak. We covered that – remember? I may fuck a lot of people, but I still have standards – and you don't meet them."

Harrison's smile was starting to creep Nicole out. "Oh Nikki, I have no interest in going where practically _everyone's _gone before."

Nicole sneered at him, then, rubbing her aching temples, sighed. "Just tell me what you want."

"Nicole, why so touchy? Still mad about Brooke surviving?"

"_Fuck off!_" Nicole shouted. Her entire head was throbbing now.

"Ouch! Touchy subject I see." His smile turned into a bemused smirk.

She put her hands down and glared at him. "What... Do... You... Want?"

"I've got a job for you," he replied, his grin returning. Nicole pushed her way past him, moving towards the door.

"Not so fast." He grabbed her arm, spinning her around. "I've something you need to see."

Nicole stared while Harrison took a file out of his bag, and handed it to her.

Snatching it from him, she opened the folder to see pictures of herself. "What the hell?" she said. The grainy photos showed her behind the wheel of her car, grinning. She didn't have to ask where the pictures were taken. She knew it was the night she'd sent Brooke to the hospital, near death.

"How could you have these?" She couldn't pretend she wasn't shocked .

"Oh, it gets better. Keep looking."

The first photos showed Nicole's homicidal glee, but the rest were far stranger. Nicole was shaking her head as she saw them. They showed her and Brooke in an intimate embrace. They looked like they were taken through the window of Nicole's room. "That's impossible! That never happened!"

"Amazing what you can do with a little creative editing," he said, "but you missed the best ones – keep going." Nicole noticed that the annoying grin was back.

The rest of the photos were similar, only they showed Brooke, once again in an intimate embrace, only with _Sam_." Nicole grimaced as she looked at them. "Ewww... _gross_! Brooke and... _Spam_? What's the point of this? I don't really want to hear about your sick fantasies, perve boy!"

"Think about it Nic – You and Brooke, Brooke and Sam, you looking very much like you were intentionally trying to kill Brooke." He arched an eyebrow and rubbed his chin in an exaggerated 'I'm thinking' pose. "Hmmm... _screams _'love triangle' to me."

"Nobody's going to believe that." Nicole said.

"People believe what they _see_, sunshine, and you can _see _those photos. Everyone'll think you tried to kill Brooke on purpose because she dumped you for Sam, which, except for the girl-on-girl sex, is pretty much what happened. Oh! and I'll tell them all about it of course. How they sat me down and told me all about their little 'relationship' at the prom." He put the back of his hand to his forehead and tilted back his head. "'_I feel so bad, your honor, if I'd only been more accepting of my friends, they wouldn't have stormed out and Brooke wouldn't have been hurt. Brooke told me that Nicole had threatened her, but I never believed she really do anything, etc. etc_.'" His looked directly at Nicole, the smile fading from his face. "Short version: Even _if _you manage to stay _out _of prison, you'll forever be – and very _publicly _be – the dyke who ran down her ex in a jealous rage."

"You son of a bitch!" Nicole actually looked scared. She didn't like the feeling. She backed away, still holding the photos."

"You don't need to make a run for it Nic, you can have that set – I've got more. But don't worry, I won't show them to anyone – _If _you do as you're told."

"What do you want?"

"Well, in return for not being cast as the jealous dyke in a McQueer love triangle, you get to play the supportive heterosexual 'pal' whose going to help them 'come out' to all their high school friends."

Nicole smirked. "So you want me to 'out' Brooke and Sam as a couple of dykes with your fake pictures."

"Oh, _those _ones aren't fake actually. But then, neither are the one's of you playing Deathrace 2000 with psycho grin on your face."

Nicole blinked. "What? Of course they're fake – Brooke's no dyke. You've been hanging out with your mom too much."

"No Nikki, they're real. Sam and Brooke have been swept up in a..." he adopted his best 'breathless romantic' voice, "..._forbidden passion_. It's really quite romantic, but I don't care. I just want to destroy the bitches – or you. Take your pick."

Nicole stood up straight, trying to appear more confident than she felt. "Ok. I'm in."

"Of course you are," Harrison said, his smile beaming as he took back the photographs. "You'll have to do it without these though – at least for now. Can't have the gals wondering where these came from."

Walking to the door, he turned back. "Oh, and, of course, _no one _knows we had this conversation."

"Of course," Nicole answered.

As Harrison walked down the hall, he threw the folder into a trash can, spilling newspaper clippings and crude drawings as it fell.

_Too easy_, he thought to himself.


	17. One More Thing

One More Thing.

The next day, the girls cornered Harrison.

"Hi Harrison!" they said, almost in stereo.

"Hi" he answered, looking suspicious and almost scared. The girls weren't too surprised, remembering the last time they'd confronted him like this. Brooke inwardly winced, remembering suggesting their 'threesome' date that left her in a coma and more than one of them with a broken heart.

"We'd like you to come over tonight," Sam offered, nervously. "We're babysitting Mac and... well we'd like to talk to you about something."

"Haven't we had all those conversations by now?" He looked more amused than scared now.

"It's nothing bad," Brooke said. "We just wanted to tell you something."

"Well tell me _now_" he said, gesturing with his hand as if to motion them closer.

"Tonight's better," Sam answered. "We'll order pizza – our treat. It'll be fun." Brooke nodded, trying to convince him – and herself.

"Ooooo-kay" Harrison said, "I guess I'll see you... then."

"Great!" the girls were grinning, trying to hide how nervous they felt. "See you at seven!"

Afterwards, they looked at each other. Sam took Brooke's hand and squeezed it. "This is going to _suck_," she said.

"_God_, I hope not," Brooke sighed, then added, "We're probably overreacting, you know. I mean, we're not _dating _him, and the three of us have been fine since... Well, since he stopped trying to act like my boyfriend."

Sam smirked, remembering how hard it'd been to 'help' Harrison come to that conclusion 'on his own.' She almost let it slip to Brooke the afternoon when they'd finally confessed their feelings for each other. Thankfully, she'd only told her girlfriend how she and Harrison had agreed that he and Sam should never be together in 'that way.'

Realizing that Brooke was still talking, Sam decided to cover for her lack of attention in the best way she could.

"I love you," she said.

She'd said it before, and knew she'd say it many times more, but she was still surprised sometimes about how odd it seemed to be saying to Brooke after all the unkind things they'd said too each other in the past. She also realized that it's all she'd ever really wanted to say.

Brooke smiled, her eyes glistening. "I love you too Sam. I really do." Her eyes were starting to water just from thinking about how much she felt for this girl she's once claimed "not to like very much."

Sam smiled back at the blond. "Whatever happens tonight, just remember that."

"You too," was Brooke's answer as she let go of Sam's hand to get to her next class.

Elsewhere, the thing posing as Harrison John was grinning again.

"Well, _this _should be fun!" he shouted as he clapped his hands together.


	18. New Conversations about Old Subjects

New Conversations about Old Subjects

As Sam wandered to class she thought back to some of the conversations Harrison mentioned. One in particular came to mind. He'd been trying to focus on his homework and she'd poked her head into his room.

"Hey Harrison," she said, trying to sound perkier than she felt. Part of her wanted to shake him, but the better part knew he wasn't having an easy time of it. He'd finally gotten Brooke, only to lose her to a coma, only to get her back when she woke up, only to lose her _again _when she realized that she didn't want him after all.

"Hi Sam. I suppose you talked to Brooke." He was happy to see her, but was hoping for a chance to vent and a shoulder to cry on more than a lecture.

"Yes – yes, she did. Are you okay?"

Encouraged by the concern in her voice, Harrison relaxed. "Not really Sam, I'm feeling like crap."

"So's Brooke," Sam said, sitting on Harrison's bed, facing him.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Harrison rolled his eyes. "Sucks losing something you didn't want."

"She's been through a lot, you know."

"I know, I know, and I'm trying not to be a jerk about it but..." The boy stood up and began to pace. "...I thought that – _finally _– we were going to have our chance."

"She just needs some time," Sam said.

Harrison shook his head. "No Sam, she _doesn't_." Sam flinched as Harrison began to shout. She's trying be to all 'I'm not sure' but she knows. I'm _not _the guy." He punched the wall as he said it.

Panting with exasperation, he added, "Guess I made the wrong choice after all, huh?"

Sam stood up and walked over, putting her arms around her best friend. "No, you didn't. You made a choice and you were _honest _about it."

He leaned back from the embrace to look at her, arching his eyebrow. "And you're _okay _with that?"

"Well, I _wasn't_," she said, scowling at him, "but... you _are _my best friend, and you haven't cut me out of your life and you haven't assumed anything or tried to act like nothing happened."

"I just want us like we were before," he admitted, "before Brooke, before _George_." He pulled away and sat down.

"I love you, Sam. It's like I said, when I thought I was going to die, I realized that. I... I just didn't know... I guess I didn't know _how _I loved you."

Smiling, she sat down next to him. "And how do you love me, exactly?" She had a smirk that was a little too cocky for Harrison's taste at the moment.

Resisting the urge to be sarcastic, he answered, "Like... you're more than a friend – more than a girlfried, even. You're..." he searched for the right word, smiling when he finally found it.

"You're _family _Sam... and the whole thing with George, I just... I was afraid of losing that."

Sam's smirk turned into a genuine smile. "I feel the same way, you know? Except for me, it was you and Brooke." She laughed and leaned back, saying, "Guess we were both pretty stupid, huh?"

"Guess so," he replied. A moment later, he added, "I've missed us."

"Ditto." She looked at her hands, away from Harrison, before continuing... "You know, if you gave it a _chance_, it _could _be the same for you and _Brooke_.."

"Oh I _doubt _that!" he shouted, jumping up from the bed.

Sam couldn't help but laugh a little at her friend's theatrics. "I'm _serious_! She _cares _about you, just like I do. If you'd just give her a chance..."

"She doesn't _want _me to give her a _chance _Sam. She just wants me to go _away_."

"That is _not _true at _all_. Just because she's not ready for a relationship right out of a coma and learning to walk again, doesn't mean she's not interested in being your _friend_. You know, she could _use _some of those right now, especially ones who don't try and kill her with speeding cars."

"If I laugh at that, will you be mad at me cause it's horribly inappropriate?"

"Maaaaybe," Sam said as her eyes narrowed, "but I'll forgive you if you visit Brooke and be a friend instead of a wannabee boyfriend."

"You think that's what she wants, _really_?"

"Yeah, actually, I do." She took hold of his collar. "Like it or not, Harrison John, you're a good friend when you're not trying to _date _your friends, and – you know what? – you're _lucky _to have us."

Pausing for a moment, she added, "Well not actually _have _us, but..."

"I got it. I _got _it," he reassured her, holding up his hands in defeat.

"I am _so _gonna die alone," he sighed.

"Hey, if all else fails, we'll get a house together and be crazy old people with 80 cats."

"Oh great! _That's _my dream!" he laughed, shoving Sam playfully. They laughed for awhile over that. Then Harrison spoke, "So, what should I do?"

"Go talk to Brooke, and _not _about the two of you. Just be there for her," Sam answered, turning to leave the room.

Spinning around in the doorway, she added, "Oh! Let's not tell her about this conversation, okay? I don't want her to think I'm interfering. Besides, it'll look better on you if you figured all this out on your own."

Harrison nodded, saying, "Sounds good to me" as the girl left the room.

"And Sam?" he yelled after her.

"What?" she yelled back from the stairs.

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome."

She couldn't contain her smile and she headed home.

Thinking back on that day, Sam was sure Harrison would be okay when he found out about her and Brooke.

Elsewhere, Brooke was also remembering conversations with Harrison. Particularly, the one that ended with him slamming the door to her room as he left and the one that followed it. She'd been so surprised to see him that she shouted.

"Harrison!"

"Hey, I just wanted to apologize for last time. I was acting like... Well, like a jerk."

"I'm sorry about what I..." Brooke started to say.

"Don't... worry about it, ok?" he said, waving his hand.

Brooke's head jerked slightly, surprised.

Harrison sat down on her bed.

"_I'm _sorry," he said.

Brooke couldn't help smiling. "You're sorry?"

"Yes, I am. I know you're going through a lot and I shouldn't be so worried about myself and my little problems compared to what you're going through."

Still surprised, Brooke answered, "Thank you."

"So," he said, turning to face her, "are we friends?"

"Always" she answered.


	19. Learning CurveBall

**Learning Curve-Ball**

Other people might have learned something.

Other people might have gone through an ordeal like being rejected by their own mother and ending up in foster care and come out of it with some degree of compassion for the world's outcasts. Of course, other people wouldn't have let their frenzied imagination exaggerate the place into a Dickensian orphanage.

Other people, were not Mary Cherry.

The Texan had not, it seemed been humbled by her experience, nor had her attitude towards anyone who was – in her mind, at least – less worthy than herself softened in the slightest. Her anger towards her mother manifested itself as a snarl to anyone who dared cross her.

Of course, she was also still as dumb as a chair leg, so that likely prevented a lot of ideas from taking root, such as "I know how you feel, little bitty socially-discarded bookwormy boy. I _understand _what it is to feel like you're not good enough, that somehow, _you've _failed simply because you didn't meet other people's shallow expectations!"

Instead, the young man with the prominent eyeglasses who almost bumped into her in the hallway was treated to a very loud, "Get the _hell _away from me, little dorky man, before I catch whatever horrible affliction turned you into _you_."

Her mother would have been so proud.

As it was Nicole Julian just smirked as the poor boy tried to stutter an apology as he ran away.

"Mary Cherry! Got a minute?" Nicole asked, approaching the dim-witted blonde.

"Why, of course, I do Ms. Julian, our own lil' phoenix risen from the ashes of unpopularity yet _a-gain_."

Nicole knew she'd have the blond's attention. Mary Cherry coveted popularity above all things (except possibly, being thin), and Nicole was, Queen of Kennedy, after all. She may not have inspired the beatific awe that Brooke did in her heyday, but she knew how to work it.

Right now, she was working on not rolling her eyes at the idiot's comments and twangy speech pattern as she led her into the Novak.

"Let's talk, about our old pal Brooke."

"Oh Ah _knew _it, I _knew _you were going bury the hatchet with lil' Brooke and we'd all be Chola's one, two and three again!"

Sensing an opening she hadn't imagined even Mary Cherry would be stupid enough to give her, she took it.

"That's exactly it, Mary Cherry," she said, struggling to keep down the bile. "I'm going to win our darling Ms. McQueen away from society's reject pile and put her right back at the top of the 'A' list." Mary Cherry was visibly excited.

"But first, I need your help."

"Well, whateva' _Ah _kin do to be of assistance in the re-habill-itation of our dear Brooke, you just say the word." _After all_, she thought, _it was always easier to ride little miss Pollyollyanna's proverbial coattails to the top than the too-smart for my own good Ms. Nicole Ju-li-en_.

"Well," Nicole said in her best 'teacher talking to a special-ed student' voice, "I think I've discovered _exactly _how Brooke was won over to the dork side."

Mary Cherry eyes went narrow. "It was _drugs_, wasn't it?! They drugged our little girl into blindly accepting her fate as a size 12 who shops at Target, didn't they? Those _bastards_!"

"You might think so, Mary Cherry. You might indeed think so. However, as it turns out, Brooke's vice was not drugs, but – let's call it _unusual _sexual activity."

"Oh mah _sweet _lord Jesus, you mean, Brooke's into whips, chains and the illicit use of small furry animals" the Texan babbled.

Nicole took a deep breath as she called upon her every last reserve of self-control not to go for the idiot's throat.

"No, Mary Cherry, I was actually referring to Brooke's being a homosexual."

Mary Cherry managed to blink, squint and shake her head no less than four times before she could respond.

"Brooke MA-_Queen_ is a plaid-wearing, k.d. lang lovely _les_-bee-ann!? What _is _the world coming to when even pretty girls are jumping the fence like that?"

"I know what you mean," Nicole said, turning away from her one-time friend. "Once pretty, once popular, now she's just fodder for the Jerry Springer show."

She pretended to check her make-up in the mirror before adding, "Of course, that's not the worst part."

"Well, what else could there be?" the idiot Texan said. Then she gasped, "Oh no! She's not indulging her _wicked_, carnal desires with lil' Lily is she?" She collapsed onto the couch.

For the second (or was it third?) time since entering the room, Nicole fantasized about having a gun.

"Oh, close, but no. Her attentions have gone even further down the garbage chute." She moved in closer, looking Mary Cherry in the eye.

"You see, Brooke is dallying with her own oily-skinned, fashion disaster of a step-sister."

Mary Cherry's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Spam! Brook is carpet-munchin' with Spam McPherson!"

"Now, now, Mary Cherry, we can't let ourselves get upset. That's not going to help Brooke or us. We need to ask ourselves, 'What could Brooke _possibly _see in her?'"

Thinking (or whatever she did in lieu of thinking) for a moment, Mary Cherry offered, "Well, at least she doesn't have to worry about having a girlfriend who's prettier than her."

Sitting next to the Texan, and reassuring herself that stupid wasn't contagious, Nicole countered, "That's one possibility. I was thinking, however, more along the lines of, Brooke wanting to keep things a secret and that's bound to be easy when your dallying with someone you live with already and are already around most of the time. It's the perfect cover."

"So what _ken _we do to show her the error of her sapphic ways?"

"Well, I don't think we have to worry so much about getting her to give up girls as we need to show her that she can pursue her little lifestyle choice in a more positive – and more attractive way. You see, if she's only with Sam in order to ensure that her secret remains a secret, then all we have to do is see to it that there's no secret to keep."

"Yah mean, tell everyone about Brooke so that she can get herself a girlfriend that she doesn't have to all asham-ed of?"

"Exactly!" Nicole said, standing up. She began to pace around the room. "And, you see, that's where _you _come in. After our... _disagreements _last year, things are still rather tense between Brooke and I and she might take my perfectly well-intentioned disclosure of her sexuality to the student body as something _other _than the helpful gesture that it's meant to be – so _you'll _have to do it. I'll need you too make sure that everyone A: knows about Brooke and Sam and B: realizes that a woman of her former-for-now status can still surely do better."

Leaning in again close to the dim blond, she added, "Think you're up for it?"

"Absolutely! Ya ken count of me."

"I knew I could," Nicole sneered.


	20. Horrible, yet Strangely Familiar

**Horrible, yet Strangely Familiar**

Brooke hated school.

Well, not reallly. She hated school _today_. She was too nervous about 'coming out' to Harrison to concentrate on anything. Breaking up was one thing, but letting him know that he _never _had a chance, and that his best friend was now _her _girlfriend? How would he react?

"...and, of course, he'll be _furious_!" the teacher told the class. Brooke realized she didn't know what the woman was talking about.

"After all," she went on, "finding out the girl of your dreams, who've you've tried _so _hard to be nice to even _after _she _dumped _your sorry ass..."

Brooke was paying attention now. Why was everyone looking at her?

"...finding out that, not _only _has being with you turned her into a full-on, carpet-eating _lesbo_, but that it's your _so-called _'best friend,' her _own _sister, that's she's slipping the fist too? Why _wouldn't _the boy freak out? Isn't that right, Ms. Mc_Queer_ – I mean Mc_Queen_?"

Everyone was looking at Brooke now. "W...What's going on?" she asked.

"Why we were just discussing your little gay, _incestuous_, fling. After all..." the teacher said, holding up the textbook, "it's a helluva lot more interesting than _this _crap!"

"W...Wh.. What?" Brooke stammered.

"Wha... Wha... Wha..." the teacher mocked, "Jesus H. Christ, child! Have you spend so much time with your sister's thighs wrapped around your head that you've gone _deaf_?"

The entire class chuckled at that one.

"She's _not _my sister!" Brooke got out of her chair. She didn't know what was going on.

"Of course not, Ms. McQueer – I mean Mc... Ah _hell_, let's just go with McQueer – True anyway."

"Why are you _doing _this?" Brooke was in tears. Everyone was looking at her with disgust.

"Because, you pathetic freak," one of the boys shouted at her, "people outside of the _backwoods _think incest is gross, not to mention that it's two fucking _dykes_."

"Exactly," added the teacher, "and what do we think should be done about this most _unnatural _situation? Class?"

The student's hands were all raised, but they didn't wait to be called on to blurt out their answers.

"Lock the _freak _up," one girl said.

"Try electoshock" another added.

"No, just leave her alone with _me _for an hour," a mean-looking jock said in a smug tone, "_I'll _straighten the bitch out."

Brooke was openly weeping now.

"All good ideas class," said the teacher. "And what about the family? Surely such an atrocity will tear them apart. Can you imagine what her parents will feel, finding out they've raised such a deviant?"

"I'm not," Brooke said in-between sobs.

"Oh hush, you know what you are! You stupid girl." The woman circled Brooke like a vulture. "You decided to do whatever the hell you wanted and not give a sweet goddamn what it did your sisters, your parents, your friends. Hell, I don't even think you were using your brain at all – Maybe you were thinking with something else." The woman's hand gestured at Brooke's crotch, smirking at the class, who all laughed at her little joke.

"And what do the parents think? Let's ask them!" She motioned towards her desk where, spinning around, Brooke saw her father sitting.

"What do I think?" Mike said, with the most severe expression Brooke had ever seen him wear. "I think I've never be so disappointed in my daughter."

"Daddy?" Brooke's hand went to the sides of her head as she tried to make sense of it all.

"Don't act upset Brooke – you don't have the right – not after your selfish behavior's torn this family apart! Jane's leaving you know! and taking Mac, just to get Sam away from you."

"Sam! No!" Brooke shouted. Her face was wet with tears, her make-up smeared across her face.

"Yes, you selfish little freak. Gone for good, and it's all your fault, you just couldn't keep your damn mouth shut! I wish you'd died last summer. You'd have saved us all a lot of trouble!"

The words hurt Brooke like a slap.

They were meant to.

Even after the end-of-class bell woke her and she realized she'd been dreaming, those words hurt.

Across the hall, Harrison watched the classroom door. His blackened eyes revealing his true nature.

Snapping out of his self-induced trance as the bell rang, he realized, if the girls were going to tell 'Harrison' about their relationship tonight, that he needed to find Nicole today and step things up a bit. He shoved several people aside as he stormed down the hall to find her.


	21. That Went Well

Gee, That Went Well

**Gee, That Went Well**.

That night the girls welcomed Harrison with a little too much enthusiasm, deferring his questions while they grabbed pizza and drinks. Plates in hand, they sat around the table in the kitchen.

"Ok guys, _what's _up?" Harrison said, looking from one girl to the other.

"Well, Harrison..." Brooke began. She stood up, then, her nerves failing, quickly sat back down.

"Harrison," Sam began, "this isn't easy to tell you, but..."

"But what?" he interrupted, seemingly growing impatient.

"I'm gay Harrison," she finally blurted out. She was looking him right in the eye as she said it.

"What!" he shouted, looking convincingly stunned. "Oh _no! _You're fucking _kidding _me! Not you _too_. My mom was bad enough without you going rug-muncher!"

"Harrison," Brooke scolded, "there's no need to be offensive."

"There sure as hell is – _I'm _offended. My _ex_-best friend, my _almost _girlfriend, turns out to be a fucking dyke _freak_. What do you want me to say, 'hey maybe we can double-date?'"

"Ok, I... I thought you'd be more mature about this," Sam said, standing.

"I'm being _perfectly _mature. I just think it's bullshit, that's all," he snorted, rising to face her.

Brooke jumped up as well, blurting out, "I'm gay too Harrison."

"What!" Harrison managed to sound genuinely surprised.

"No Harrison! I _am_... and... and I'm _with _Sam."

Harrison looked at the two girls as they moved closer together. Sam took Brooke's hand. None of them spoke for what seemed like several minutes.

Finally, Harrison said, staggering backwards, "You fucking _bitches_! You were totally _playing _me the whole time." He held his hands up to his face and he walked around the kitchen.

He turned to glare at Sam. "And _you _– feeding me all that _bullshit _about easing off and being a friend to Brooke – you were getting me out of the _damn _way."

Brooke stared at Harrison, then Sam, a puzzled expression crossing her face.

"That's not true, Harrison" Sam said, walking towards him. "I didn't even realize..."

"What?" he interrupted, "you didn't realize that I might not like being tricked."

"Sam?" Brooke said, walking towards them. "What...?"

"She told me to back off," Harrison, said, turning to Brooke. "She said you needed 'space' and I should just be your friend."

He turned back to glare at Sam. "And you gave me all that _crap _about being 'like family' and..." He turned his back to them, placing his hands on the counter top. They couldn't see he was smiling.

"And you told me that you _loved _me. I'm such a tool. Were you after her last year too?"

"What!" Sam shouted. Brooke was staring at the floor.

Harrison turned around, his smile fading before the girls could see it. "Were you after her when you made me choose between you?"

Sam wiped tears from her eyes. "No, Harrison, I was not 'after' Brooke, I was confused last year – we both were. I've never lied to you."

"Really? Funny – I just don't believe you."

Harrison walked out, slamming the door behind him, setting Mac off on a crying fit.

Moments later, Sam stood, holding Mac, calming her with soft words. Brooke was shaking her head.

"Brooke," Sam said, "You know that stuff he said..."

"When did the two of you have this 'talk?'" she asked.

"Before we – you and I – got together. I just wanted him to stop pressuring you to get back together. You were still learning to walk, for God's sakes! I had no idea, that we were going to..."

The baby started crying again, disturbed by Sam's raised voice.

"It's okay – it's okay, I get it, you were trying to help," Brooke said. Together they tried to sooth the baby.

Outside, Harrison stopped and turned back to the house, smiling. He posed like he was holding something up to his chest.

"I'd like to thank the Academy..." he said to no one in particular.

After the girls had put Mac to bed, they sat on the couch, staring forward.

"That went well," Brooke sighed.

"Hey!" Sam said, turning to face her, "it's like I said this morning, I love you and you love me. If he can't handle it, then fu– to hell with him."

"He was your best friend since you were kids. How can he act like that?" Brooke's hands were clenched into fists.

"He thinks I betrayed him. He thinks I used our friendship to get to you." Sam's eyes were starting to tear up again.

Brooke put her arms around Sam, pulling her into an embrace. "It's okay Sammie, I've got you."

Sam cried in Brooke's arms while Brooke rocked her gently back and forth, soothing her.

Finally, Sam sat up. "Mom and Mike'll be home soon. I should clean myself up."

"How do you think they're going to react?" Brooke asked.

"Hopefully, whatever they say, they'll be saying it to us over the phone when we're at college," was Sam's smirking reply.

"I'm serious Sam! Too many people _know_. Somebody's going to tell them."

"At this point, even if Harrison shoots his mouth off, it's just a rumor. No one'll believe him. Besides, it'd just make him look bad if he starts telling people we both dumped him for each other."

"Well," Brooke smirked, "I think it was a trade up – for me anyways."

That made Sam smile. "Well, it certainly was for me, princess."

"Good," Brooke said, moving nose-to-nose with the brunette. "As long as we're clear on that."

Moving closer Brooke kissed her girlfriend, jumping back when she heard their parents coming home.

--

A/N: Thanks to lucydiamond for Beta'ing. Hope if you're reading this that you aren't put off by the wait (work, life, etc. keep taking up my time).

And if you're reading this - Thank You : )

I know it seems to have "mellowed" since the 1st few chapters, but I think it'll pick up pace shortly. I've also written part of the climax and the epilogue, so there's an end in site crosses fingers


	22. Questions with No Good Answer

Questions with No Good Answer

Brooke had just finished brushing her teeth and was getting ready for bed. Sam had already gone to bed – _in her own room_, Brooke thought with a sneer. For a moment the image of Sam, lying in bed flashed through Brooke's mind. She closed her eyes and sighed.

It seemed like only a minute later that she was brushing her teeth again, this time in the morning. She was cursing herself for oversleeping. _Dammit_, she thought, she hated being late.

She was still buttoning her shirt when she heard raised voices coming from the kitchen. Peeking downstairs, she saw Jane and her father and... _Sam_?

Mike was leaning on the countertop, his face was red. Jane was speaking.

"How _could _you Sam? You _know _how much Brooke's been through. She had a _serious _head injury – you know her memory's still not a hundred percent."

Sam looked exasperated. "Mom, I didn't 'take _advantage_' of Brooke – we started this together."

Mike snapped. "Oh come _on _Sam! – Brooke's never shown the _slightest _leanings towards being... _that way_ – and you've been obsessed with her since sophomore year."

Sam started to protest, but Mike held up his hand. "_Don't _try to deny it – All of those 'articles' you wrote attacking her, they were so biased I'm _amazed _the school allowed them to appear. If Brooke had shown them to me, I've have torn your teachers head off."

Brooke wanted to run in, and tell them to stop, that Sam didn't lie – even when Brooke had wished she would, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Great show, isn't it?" a voice whispered from behind her ear.

Brooke's scream was stopped by a hand over her mouth. "Shhh... we don't want to interrupt this," Harrison said. "They might forget about Sam and turn on _you_, and I know you won't let _that _happen."

"What are you doing here?" Brooke hissed.

"Just came by to walk you to school, Ms. McQueen. Oh, and I thought I'd write a paper about your family falling apart." Harrison moved between her and the stairs.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she snapped back.

"C'mon Queen B. – First your little anorexia drama nearly killed your father, then you try to destroy all his hopes for a happy marriage with sabotage. Now, you've seduced your stepsister – Poor daddy's gonna crack under the strain any second now!"

Brooke could barely answer. Even if Harrison was a complete bastard, she knew at least some of it was true.

"Still, I've got to hand it to you. You're doing a great job," he added.

"Great job with what?" Brooke said.

"Convincing people that you're the complete opposite of the royal fuck-up you really are."

Observing her scorn, he continued. "Don't look at me like that – you know it's true. Your mom saw it, but you had Sam guilt her into coming back. Your dad's too blind to see it, but what do you expect from daddy's little charity case? Sam saw through it, but you got her – took you two years to do it and you had to sleep with her, but she thinks you're as good as the hype now. She's all 'in love' for all the good it'll do her.

Brooke was indignant. "Sam loves me. My father loves me. Jane…"

"Jane loves _Mike_," Harrison interrupted, "Sam, and Mac – and _not_ necessarily in that order. You're just part of the package. A stupid, incompetent, damaged, pudgy little freak she had to take to get Mike."

He placed his hand on Brooke's chin. "Kinda the opposite of your mom – she _wanted_ Mike, but ditched him just to be free of _you_."

"She… she came back," Brooke sobbed.

"Yeah, she came back – 'cause Sam made her feel _guilty_. She didn't _want_ to. She _even_ lied about who she was – she was _terrified_ of coming back. When you changed your mind and decided to stay here it was the biggest _relief_ in her life – she was terrified of getting stuck with you – listening to you _whine_ day and night about your sad _widdle_ life – _Christ_! She'd have hung herself in a week!"

Harrison had a thoughtful look on his face. "Maybe that's what _you_ should do – just put yourself out of everyone's misery. Mike and Jane could raise Mac, your mom could stop shaking every time the phone rings, Sam could find herself a girl who cares about her – the family'd be _saved_."

Brooke was about to speak when she heard her father's yelling again.

"I suppose the whole thing was _Brooke's _idea! I bet you _fought _to keep her off you and she _overpowered _you with her superior strength! – How _stupid _do you think I _am _Samantha!"

Brooke tried to brush past Harrison and go downstairs, but he grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me!" she snapped.

"Now, not sweet cheeks, don't go ruining my show."

Brooke woke with a start. Another dream? For the hundredth time in the past week, she questioned her sanity. "I'm going crazy," she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.


	23. Too Late to Wake Up

Too Late to Wake Up.

Sam couldn't sleep. After rolling around in bed for awhile, she decided to get something to drink. Staggering down the hall, scratching her head, she paused outside of Brooke's room.

She could picture the blond girl inside, sleeping. Curled up under blankets, wearing – oh God! What was she wearing? Sam pressed her forehead to the door tracing her fingers along the doorway. She almost pressed her lips to that door, thinking about who was behind it, but she was interrupted by the sound of Brooke crying.

She knocked, peeking into the room. Seeing Brooke crying, she ran to her, wrapping her in an embrace. She didn't ask right away, letting Brooke cry, her face was pressed into Sam's shoulder. Sam almost couldn't hear when Brooke finally whispered, "I'm losing my mind Sam."

Any other time, Sam would have sarcastically agreed, but now she merely whispered "Why?" kissing the blond girl's forehead.

"I've been... I've been seeing things," she said.

"Like what?"

"Hallucinations, dreams, whatever – even since we..." she let her shrug finish the sentence.

"Do you feel guilty? about us?" Sam's voice cracked slightly as she asked the question.

"No!" Brooke answered, kissing Sam's face. "It's just... I keep having these dreams where everyone's turning on me – my dad, Jane, our friends, Harrison."

"Well, that happened Brooke."

"I know – No! – that's not what I mean – He was here, watching you fight with dad and your mom. They were saying that you 'took advantage' of me. I was going to scream at them that I wanted this – us – but he stopped me, said it was my fault that it was happening."

"Sounds like him," Sam sneered. Leaning into the other girl, she asked, "Are these... things... all the same."

Brooke lay down on the bed. "No, once I was in school and everyone was insulting me – saying horrible things about... us."

Sam lay down next to Brooke, pulling her close. "It's okay baby, I'm here and it was just a dream."

"I wish I could be as sure as you. It seemed so real – almost as bad as when I was in the hospital." Brooke's eyes widened as she realized what she said.

"What happened in the hospital?" Sam asked, leaning over Brooke.

Brooke's voice was trembling. She knew that Sam would think she was insane. She also knew that she never wanted to lie to this girl she loved so much it hurt to be away from her.

It was an hour later when a sobbing Brooke finished telling Sam every detail, every slur, every blow she'd suffered in what she could only call _hell_. Sam listened, her eyes watering. How _tortured _could this girl be to imagine such things? to imagine that _she_, of all people, could _deserve _such things? The thought made her want to pull Brooke to her. Eventually, Brooke dozed off. Sam didn't dare move.


	24. Baby Steps

**Baby Steps**

1Brook changed three times before coming to breakfast the next morning, looking at the mirror for the first time in months with a view to how she'd look to the other students. Her jeans were rejected, finally settling on a more feminine skirt, followed up with more makeup than usual. It seemed to Sam that Brooke was trying to look as 'straight' as possible for the school.

Sam chuckled to herself at Brooke's nervous behavior, and calmly told Brooke she was going to her room to find a poor of army boots and a plaid shirt. Brooke glared at her for only a second before she started laughing.

***********

The girls walked into the school like the ceiling was going fall on them as soon as they got in. They were half-expecting odd looks – a part of each of them hoping that Harrison had kept his mouth shut.

They didn't see Lily and Carmen until third period.

"Oh my God guys!" Lily shrieked. "Are you okay?"

"What's going on?" Sam asked. "Did Harrison rat us out?"

"He didn't have to," Carmen answered. "Mary Cherry's been telling the whole school that you're gay Brooke – and that you're so 'desperate' to hide it that you're 'reduced to' sleeping with Sam."

"What!?" Brooke shouted. _Why_, she wondered, was everyone turning this into an excuse to attack Sam_. It's my fault_, she thought, _not Sam's_.

Sam's shouting interrupted Brooke's self-recrimination.

"What the hell does she mean 'reduced to' sleeping with me? – We haven't even..." Her voice trailed off.

Lily chimed in to fill the awkward silence. "She's telling everyone they have to help you 'come out of the closet' so you can get a 'decent girlfriend' – her words, Sam – not mine."

"It's okay Lil" Sam said, her jaw half-clenched. "I'm not mad at you – Mary Cherry, on the other hand, I plan to murder."

With that, she turned and marched down the hall like a soldier going to war.

"Not on your own, you don't," Brooke added, chasing after her.

***********

They found Mary Cherry outside of the Cafeteria. She smiled wide as Brooke approached.

"Well, hey y'all. How y'all doin' _Brooke_?" she drawled.

"Cut the _crap _Mary Cherry" Sam snarled. "What the _hell _have you been telling people about us?"

Mary Cherry sneered. "Well, _Spam_, if you _must _know, I _have _been informing the student body that they had all _best _be accepting of our dear Brooke's 'alternative lifestyle' choice if they know what's _good _for 'em."

"Of course," she blathered on, "_I_, as a _Christian_, feel bad knowing that y'all are bound for hellfire, but that's no reason to be picking on y'all in the here and now."

Brooke flinched at the mention of 'hell,' but Sam was so busy picturing her hands around Mary Cherry's throat that she didn't notice.

"Well, Mary Cherry, as much as we _appreciate _your concern," she hissed through clenched teeth, "we'd really prefer that our _private _life wasn't broadcast to the entire school."

The blonde Texan sneered again. "It's not _you _I'm worried about – it's our own poor Brooke – so ashamed of her secret, sapphic desires that she sneaks around with a _nobody _when she could _surely _do _much _better. If only the _lez_-be-annas knew she was 'available,' so to speak."

Turning to Brooke, she dug herself in deeper. "Now, everyone _knows _'bout y'all. Now yeh ken get rid of _moldy _lil Spam and get a gal-pal that you ain't scared to show off to the world."

Brooke stepped up to Mary Cherry, staring the dimwit in the eye. Her next words spoken with such a fury that flecks of spit flew from her lips.

"You know what, Mary Cherry? I _could _do better – better than the shallow, insincere, back-stabbing, _murderous _'friends' I've had. I could do a helluva lot better than the fake, plastic, miserable life I've had trying to please everyone but myself. But I will never – could never – in any world you could ever dream of, do better than Sam." She grabbed the brunette's hand as she said it.

"And I will _not_, for _one _minute, put up with _anyone _trying to _hurt _her, _tear _her down or tell her she's somehow less of a _person _because she doesn't wear the right _clothes _or do the right _things _or have the right _friends_. So if you're trying to make me choose between _her _and my 'image' _you _can go to hell."

The dumb blonde with the drawl looked positively indignant. "Well, if yer gonna be so damned ungrateful..." she said as she stormed off.

***********

Brooke was still shaking after Mary Cherry left – so much so that she jumped slightly when she felt Sam's arms wrap around her.

"Thank you Princess," she purred into the blonde's ear.

Placing her hands over Sam's, she answered, "Just the truth Sammy. I wasn't going to let anyone talk about you like that. You know damn well you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Sam sighed. "I can't even believe she'd even come up with something like this? Where does a moron like her..." Sam stopped in mid-sentence. She and Brooke just looked at one another. Of course the dimwit Texan didn't think of it. They both had an idea who could have put her up to it.

Sam was off again. Brooke started to follow her, but hesitated until Sam was out of sight.

***********

Sam barged into the Novak, where Nicole was primping.

"Ok Satan! What did you do? Mary Cherry's too stupid to have thought of this on her own."

"Hello to you too Sam. What're you on about this time?" Nicole asked, she didn't turn away from the mirror.

"You put Mary Cherry up to this... _stunt_, telling everyone about me and Brooke. What the _hell _do you what from us? Haven't you done _enough_?"

Nicole sighed, and turned to face Sam. "Look Sam, I don't give a rat's ass if Brooke – _or _you – are gay. That's been done. I hope Brooke finds herself a girlfriend – if that's _really _her thing – that's not going to make her a joke."

Sam folded her arms. "Oh! So I'm not _worthy_, is that it?"

Nicole, put her hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam flinched slightly at the contact.

"Oh honey, that's not the question."

Sam pulled away, turning her back on the other girl.

"And I suppose you're just worried about the girl you tried to _kill_!"

"Sammy, I can't take back what I did – I _really _wish I could, but Brooke's obviously not firing on all cylinders if she thinks this is a good idea for _either _of you. Come on! As far as everyone's concerned, you two are _sisters_."

Sam rubbed the bridge of her nose, her tension showing.

"We're not sisters – not _biologically_, and we weren't _anything _until two years ago."

"Be that as it may," Nicole interrupted, "and even if Brooke doesn't care what anyone thinks anymore, you two are still a Jerry Springer episode as far as everyone else is concerned – and how are your parents going to react to that?"

Sam gasped. "Oh God! You didn't!?"

"No Sam, _I_ didn't, but _someone _will. Honey, you've gotta kill this thing before your family goes up in flames and takes Brooke with them – Not to mention the rep that baby sis of _both of yours _will end up with."

Sam just stared forward. Her eyes were starting to water when she ran out of the room.

***********

Once Sam was gone, Harrison peeked from around the corner where he'd been listening from the stalls.

Walking up behind Nicole, he leaned in close, whispering, "Good job."

Nicole snapped her face into full 'bitch' mode.

"So, are we done?"

Harrison couldn't help but smile.

"Almost. Just making sure that little Brooke comes to her senses."

"And what? Comes back to _you_? – Dream on, nerd boy."

Harrison's face went dark and his hand shot to Nicole's neck. Her head hit the wall, knocking several of the pictures off of the wall. She grabbed Harrison's wrist, her expression changing from rage to shock when she couldn't make his hand move. He just stared at her, his eyes betraying no emotion, but his clenched jaw showing his anger.

"Oh Nicole, always so superior, so smug, so completely, unjustifiably overconfident. Do you really think anyone's impressed with your bitch-diva routine? – Anyone who cares anyway?"

"Maybe your _loving _boyfriend? – Wait! You've never had one, not one that gave a damn anyway. Sure, they all enjoyed their turn on the pussy-go-round, but who wants to stick around after the sweat's started to cool? – They might have to _talk _to you."

"Maybe your friends – your loyal, _true_, sympathetic friends – the ones who are _there _for you no matter _what_? – No! Wait! None of those either."

"Well, let's see, family then? Family are always there. Your family'd never let you down, right? – No, no, don't have that either now, do we? Just a mom who's so sick with regret over what she picked up at the trailer park that she has to remind you _every _time she sees you – every time she _has _to see you – all about your many, _many _shortcomings.

"Then there's your darling biological mother. Wow! I bet she cared about you – she gave birth to you, after all. – Oh! Sorry! Not her either. She ready to drop you like a rock twice. First, when she excreted you in the first place – she ran like hell. Of course, once she figured she could maybe make a buck off of you, she dropped in for a bit."

"You know what? I bet that was a real eye-opener for Mama Julian. A great example of the rotten apple not falling far from the trailer-park tree."

Nicole would have been livid, if she wasn't on the verge of tears. She would have been in tears, if she wasn't finding it hard to breath with a hand squeezing her throat.

Harrison stared at her for awhile, daring her to break down. Finally, he let her slump to the floor, storming out of the room without another word.


	25. New and ?

A/N: Thank you to my one (or two?) readers. Sorry for the updates, but this middle part is killing me. I've writing the ending and lots before it, but there's this here gap in the middle *sigh* - I'm working in on it for ya, I promise. Xox

**New… and?**

1Mike McQueen was glad to done with a very long day of work. He was startled to here his name.

"Mr. McQueen!"

"Harrison? What can I do for you?" Mike was more than a little wary. He wasn't sure what the boy's relationship with his daughters was since Brooke got out of the hospital, but they all seemed to be close still. More than once, Mike found himself worried about how close he seemed to be, especially as he could never tell which of his daughters the boy was actually dating at any given time.

The boy didn't seem phased by the older man's reticence. "I... I needed to come see you. I kinda had a fight with Brooke and Sam."

Mike flinched, slightly. "Well Harrison, I don't think it's my place to..."

"Oh No! No! I wouldn't dream of asking anything like that. It's just that I'm… worried about them. I think they're setting themselves up for a lot of trouble and I don't want to see that happen."

"Trouble?! What kind of trouble?"

Harrison's face was full of concern. "Can we… go somewhere?"

A few minutes later, they were staring across the table of a coffee shop. Mike's expression was impatience mixed with curiosity.

Harrison started in. "You know that Brooke and I broke it off... whatever... Sam and I too."

Mike answered, "I'm aware. Look, if that's what this is about..."

"No, it's not. I'm past it – really – but I still care about them and I don't want to see anything bad happen to them."

"And what are you worried about happening to my daughters?"

"There are a lot of guys that'd be happy to date either of them – nice guys – guys that are probably better for them than I was – and that'd be _fine _– but what they're doing."

"What are they doing?" Mike asked.

"Mr. McQueen" he sighed. "It's all over the school that they're seeing… Well, that they're seeing each other."

"What!" Mike shouted, "That's ridiculous."

"I thought so too. I've almost gotten into fights over it, but it's everywhere, true or not – and everyone's talking about it."

"Harrison, I have to tell you, I find this very hard to believe."

"I understand – I really do – and I felt the same way, but, you're their father, and I thought you should know."

Mike stood up. "I appreciate that Harrison, but I thought you'd know the girls better than that."

The goodbye was less than cordial, with Mike visibly angry. He'd never pegged Harrison as one to make up stories, especially not something like this.

No, he realized, sitting in his car, it was more likely that someone else had started this stupid rumor to hurt the girls and Harrison had naively believed it. _Of course, he'd believe it_, Mike thought, it would let him off the hook for being dumped by both of them.

Still, if someone was spreading gossip like that about them, there could be other things to worry about. The only thing he couldn't understand was why, if the girls _were_ being bullied like that, would see Sam put up with it, or Brooke keep it from him?

Could there be any truth to it? Mike knew Brooke wasn't like that, but Sam? Frankly, it didn't think it was impossible. The girls had become close. If people thought Sam was gay, then they might have assumed that she and Brooke were – the idea made he cringe – a couple. Brooke would almost certainly come to Sam's defense, and the people who start rumors would assume that she was only doing so because she was gay too, instead of just a loyal friend.

Feeling confident he'd figured everything out, Mike started the car. He realized that he'd at least have to ask Brooke about it, which he really didn't want to do.

Harrison was sitting in his car, breathing deeply and smiling.

*******************

Brooke and Sam didn't say much on the drive home from school. Sam told Brooke about the confrontation with Nicole and they both knew that, even if Nic hadn't lied about not telling their parents about them, she was right that someone would before long.

They were relieved when Jane smiled at them. She hadn't heard anything yet, it seemed.

"Look girls, I have to run some errands. Can one of you watch Mac for awhile?"

"I can do it," Brooke offered. "Sam's going out with Lily and Carmen." Sam gave a guilty grin as an apology.

"Oh, thank you Brooke. Are you sure you don't want to go too?"

"No, I'm fine, _really_." Brooke knew that Carm and Lily most likely wanted to gossip about her and Sam, so Brooke had declined with faux disdain.

Brooke was alone an hour later when Mike came in. After she told him where everyone was, he asked her to sit with him in the kitchen.

"What's up Daddy?" Brooke asked. The serious look on her father's face had her worried.

"Sweetheart, I wanted to… – is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Like what, daddy?" Brooke hands were clenched on her lap. She swallowed hard after speaking.

"Is there anything going on… at school, maybe?" he continued.

"No." She shook her head. "Just the usual stuff."

"No one causing trouble?" Mike asked. "No one starting rumors."

Brooke eyes went wide. "You _know_, you don't you?"

"I heard that the kids were… spreading _rumors_ about you and Sam. Is that true?"

"Yes, daddy." Brooke wiped a tear that was running down her cheek.

"Do you know who started these rumors? or why?" Mike was finding it hard to remain calm. He wanted to scream. How _dare_ anyone do this to his little girl?

Brooke hesitated. She was about to tell him a lie. It'd be easier. It was always easier to lie, to ignore whatever was inconvenient.

But that wasn't who she was – not anymore. She kept repeating that to herself as she took her father's hand.

"They… t-they're not just rumors daddy." It seemed to her that the air in the room was thicker, harder to breathe.

"What?" Mike looked at his daughter, his face painted with shock. Her face was red and she was shaking. Her eyes and cheeks were wet.

"What are telling me?" Mike went on. He was hoping he'd misunderstood her, that she was talking about something else.

"I… I have…" Brooke swallowed again. "I have something to tell you – and I want you to listen to me."

Mike McQueen wanted to interrupt her. He just couldn't make his mouth move.

Brooke had thought about what she'd say to her father. She also thought about every means possible to avoid doing it.

"Daddy, I'm… I'm…" _This is stupid_, she thought.

"Oh fuck it! – Daddy, I'm in love with Sam."

It was, it anyone had brought a stopwatch, thirteen seconds later that Brooke swallowed, twenty-one seconds later that Mike let out a deep breath, and forty-seven seconds later that Mike asked, "How?"

Brooke smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Mike just seemed stunned, but not angry.

"Are you out of your mind!" he shouted.

Brooke's smile dropped.

_Dammit_, she thought.

*******************

Dammit, Sam thought. She was seriously considering strangling Carmen and Lily. What was supposed to be pizza-and-movie night had turned into pizza and "pick-on-Sam" night in Josh and Lily's apartment, Josh having been sent packing for the evening.

"Guys, seriously, we have _not_ 'done it!'"

"Oh come _on_," Carmen said. "Why _not_? She's right there in the house with you!" They were all giggling too hard to even eat.

Trying to catch her breath, Sam answered, "We… we just _haven't_ yet. It's all… new and… _fun_! We don't want to rush, ok?" Sam was blushing.

"Rush!!" Lily shouted, falling onto her back on the bed. "It's been two _fucking_ years!"

*******************

"What could you possibly be thinking?" Mike shouted, pacing across the kitchen floor.

"I'm thinking I love Sam, daddy, and I think that she loves me too."

"How the hell can you be in love with her? She's your _sister_!"

"She is so not my _sister_!" Brooke said, walking up to her father. "She's _your_ wife's daughter, not _my_ sister! You're not _her_ father, Jane's not _my_ mother, and no one's adopted anybody, so don't throw _that_ at me."

"But we're all living here together – as a _family_. Do you want to ruin that?" Mike was rubbing his forehead.

"I'm not going to ruin anything, daddy. Sam and I are going to college next year. You and Jane and Mac will be here and, except for holidays, and summers, you're not even going to see us that much."

"You and Sam are _not_ shacking up in college!"

Brooke was getting very tired of this conversation. "Daddy, Sam and I may – or may not – go to school together. We may – or may not – live together after college. I don't know. It's all… new and… _wonderful_.

"Brooke, you're not even gay – you dated Josh and Jamie." Mike spun a chair around and sat down.

"I know daddy, I know it's sudden for you, and new – it is for me too, but it's just… _right_." Brooke reached out to touch her father's shoulder, but pulled back. "For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not pretending to be someone else – that it's finally me."

"Right?" Mike was rubbing the sides of his face with his hands. "How can any of this be right?"

"It just is daddy. It is for me." She rested her hand on her father's shoulder.

*******************


	26. Left turn, Right turn, Uturn

Harrison lay back on a lawn chair outside the McQueen-McPherson home, relaxing in the twilight. He didn't notice a woman walking up behind him, a beautiful woman in a black dress.

"Isn't it a bit soon for you to be _relaxing_?" she said when she was directly behind him.

"What! – What the hell are _you_ doing here?" he snarled, jumping up to face her.

"Well, it's been weeks now since your pet ran away and you haven't managed to bring her home yet. _People_ are starting to talk." She smiled as she took his place in the chair, leaning back like a cat stretching.

"I'll bring her back. She doesn't even know what's real or isn't anymore." He was trying to sound calm, but he was almost panting.

Stretching her neck from side-to-side, the woman leaned forward, her smile fading.

"You're taking too long – and it's making you look bad. If you don't hurry up, someone _else_ will claim her."

"What do you mean?" Harrison was sick of this woman and her threats, sick of all of them. He couldn't keep the rage off of his face.

"I mean," she said, standing up to walk towards the boy, making him back away, "that your little blonde pet didn't make any deals. If you want her, you've got to _convince_ her. If we had her locked up, we could just sic the hounds on her, but we don't have a _claim_ on her. You've got to convince her to come back – or at least make her _think_ she can't go anywhere else."

"It's going to happen," Harrison said, trying to sound confident, but his voice cracked.

"Don't worry kitten," the woman said, putting her arm around the boy, "we're going not taking your toys away – _yet_, we're just giving things a nudge."

She smiled. Harrison eyed her with suspicion.

********************

Inside, Mike McQueen continued to rub his temples. "It was the accident, wasn't it? – It had to be?"

"Yes, daddy," Brooke said, sarcasm dripping from her voice, "that's it. I got hit on the head and now I like girls."

"Well the _hell_ was it then!?" the chair slid across the floor as he jumped to his feet to stare at the startled girl. "You were never like this _before_. Now, you're a _freak_."

Brooke had never been afraid of her father before, despite arguments, groundings, and raised voices. Now, looking at her father, she felt fear for the first time. She tried to keep her voice soothing as she answered him. "I'm… I'm not a _freak_ daddy." She looked around the room as she said it, waiting for this latest trick to end, to wake up.

She waited to wake up, but Mike's voice was still angry. "So what was it then? – Sam? Did she do something to you?"

_She's done a few things to me_, Brooke thought, but that wasn't something she wanted to tell her father right now (or _ever_, actually).

Mike was visibly impatient with her failure to respond. "ANSWER ME! – What did she _do_ to you? How did she fuck you up like _this_!?"

Brooke's father had never sworn at her before. Her eyes were starting to tear, and she was afraid to upset him any further.

"I'm not _warped_ daddy – I'm not _broken_, or bent or _twisted_."

"The hell you're not!" He was screaming now, spittle flying from his lips. "My daughter's not some fucking dyke. It's _not_ going to happen!"

"Stop it daddy." Brooke was crying opening now. "Stop it, _please_."

Mike ignored her, his face was red and he was walking around the room as he continued his tirade. "I should _never_ have let that _weirdo_ into my house. I knew she was trouble, but I _thought_ you could handle it."

"I can – I mean, she's _not_." Brooke didn't recognize the man in front of her. Was _this_ always inside her father, waiting to lash out at her when she didn't act the 'perfect daughter' for even a second?

"Don't," he said, holding his finger in front of her fact. "Don't you dare try and defend her. You were _vulnerable_ – you were in a _wheelchair_ for heaven's sake. How could Sam take advantage of you like that?"

Brooke wiped her tear-streaked face. "That's not what happened."

"Of course it is," Mike said, taking her by the shoulders. You were just too naive and messed up to realize it." His voice seemed calming, having found someone to blame this on other than Brooke. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll take care of this."

"How are you? – What do you mean?" She was getting scared again.

"We'll get you back in therapy. You'll see what a mistake this is."

Brooke tried to protest, but Mike wouldn't hear of it. "Right now," he said, "we've just got to get you out of this house – pack a bag!"

"What! Are you crazy?" Brooke said. _Do everyone's parents get this weird_, she thought.

"Enough," Mike snapped. "I said, pack a bag. I'll take you to a hotel for now – until we figure out what to do next."

"I'm not leaving." Brooke suddenly had the image of her face on a milk carton.

She screamed as Mike slammed her into the kitchen counter, holding her arms so tight that it hurt.

"You will go to your room and pack a bag _now_ or I'll have you committed so quickly you won't have time to think." His eyes were focused with rage, and Brooke realized she was shaking.

"I _hate_ you," she hissed.

Mike slapped her. She fell to the floor. Her ears were ringing and she could feel the sting in her cheeks.

"Get up and pack – NOW!"

********************

Watching through the window, Harrison and the woman in black smiled.

"_Nice_," he said without turning to look at her.

********************

Brooke packed a bag in silence, too shocked by what had happened to speak. Mike had unplugged all the phones and taken her cell. She couldn't call Sam to warn her, or just to talk to her.

Mike called Jane on his cell, asking her to come home right away. He didn't allow Brooke to come downstairs while he told her what Brooke was sure was a very _skewed_ version of what happened.

When was finally allowed to come down, Jane glared at her the way you look at someone who betrayed you – the way Brooke looked at Nicole for the last few months. The way she would have looked at her father now, if she could stand to look at him at all. Jane took Mac upstairs without saying anything to Brooke. Mike took that as his cue to drag her and her suitcase into the car. She was too numb to even ask him where they were going.

********************

When Sam came home an hour later, she was still grinning from her visit with Lily and Carm. The grin vanished when she saw her mother sitting at the kitchen table, her arms folded.

"Mom?" she asked. Sam could tell she'd been crying

"Sam," Jane said, "we need to talk… about you and Brooke."

_Oh shit_, Sam thought.

********************


	27. Peaceful Interlude

Sam walked to her mother with the speed of a condemned man. Her breath was slow and deliberate and she pulled back the chair and sat facing her mother. The older woman's hands were shaking and her cheeks were wet with tears.

"What happened?" Sam asked as she sat down. There was no answer. She shuffled in her chair while Jane rubbed her temples.

Sam tried to speak several times, but couldn't think of anything to say.

It was several minutes before Jane asked, "What did I do, Sam? What did I do to make you _hate_ me so much?".

"What are you talking about? I don't hate you!"

"Then how could you do _this_?"

"_What_? What did I do?"

"_Dammit_ Sam!" Jane screamed. "She's your _sister_! How you could you _do_ that to her?"

"I didn't do anything to her."

This wasn't the literal truth, but Jane didn't need to hear _those_ kind of details.

"Taking advantage of your brain-injured stepsister counts as 'doing something' Samantha!"

Sam loved her mother and felt sorry for the stress she could see on the older woman's face, but she knew that she had to speak up now if she and Brooke were to have any chance.

"I love her, mom, and she loves me."

Jane's face grew stern. She didn't expect this, and wasn't happy about it.

"Dammit Sam! She lost her memory, her brain was damaged. She doesn't know what she's doing."

"She's fine! Her doctors said she was completely competent! Don't you think I thought of _that_?"

"You… you asked them?" Jane stammered.

"No, Brooke did – because I _asked_ her to, and they said she was as capable of making a decision as any other teenager."

Sam left out the concluding words, _for what that's worth_ and took her mother's hand.

"We didn't plan this, and we didn't expect it, and we certainly didn't do it to hurt you or Mike."

Jane started to speak, but Sam continued. "It just _happened_, and, to be really honest mom, it's about _us_, not about _you_."

Jane sat and stared at Sam, her anger stunned into silence for the moment.

"So, you're… a lesbian?" she asked.

"Seems that way," Sam answered. "Explains a lot, really. I never could wrap my head around the boys and sex thing, and Brooke always assumed that it got better eventually."

"But Harrison, and George – and Josh!" Jane was waving her hands as if pointing to boys who weren't there.

"I loved George and Harrison – though the way he's been acting lately, I never wanna speak to him again, but the thought of…. being sexual with them – I just thought that after I'd done it for awhile it wouldn't be so gross."

"But with Brooke it… isn't 'gross?'" Jane asked. Curiosity seemed to be distracting her from her anger, much to Sam's relief.

"Well," Sam said, sitting up as straight as possible, reminding herself to look confident. "We haven't… been together yet – not completely. We decided to give it some time. But, yes, when we're with each other, it's not awkward, or scary, or strange. It's _perfect_.

Jane wiped a tear from her eye to hear her daughter describe being in love the way only someone young and in love for the first time could. She wanted to hug Sam right now, but she took her hand instead.

"Mike thinks that… he's very angry Sam. He thinks you betrayed Brooke, and him and that hurts because he loved you like his own d.."

"Don't use that word!" Sam interrupted. He's _not_ my father, and _you're_ not Brooke's mother." She took a deep breath. "Listen, he'll understand. Brooke will explain it to him – unless…"

"What?" Jane asked.

"Unless the real issue for him is that I'm a girl," Sam said. "I mean, would he be acting like this if it were Harrison?"

"He's not like that Sam," Jane said, taking Sam's hand again. "We have friends who are gay. We know lots of gay people."

"But it's his _daughter_," Sam said, pulling away, "not just the mailman or someone at work."

Jane sighed. "That's true, but he's a good man. He'll come around."

************

Mike didn't speak to Brooke as they drove, dismissing her attempts to speak to him. He took her to a motel and checked in. The clerk eyed the older man with the pretty young girl, but said nothing. Once in the room he promptly disconnected the telephone, telling her that she wasn't to speak to Sam. Brooke sat on the bed meekly. Part of her was still expecting to wake up.

Mike sat down opposite her. "So," he said, "you've really _fucked_ things up now, haven't you?"

She tried to protest, "Daddy, it's not…"

"Oh don't' bother," he said, dismissing her words with a wave of his hand. "It wasn't a question. You've _fucked_ everything up again. It's what you _do_. People are happy, trying to make the best of their lives and you come along and destroy _everything_ just to satisfy your own _selfish_ need to be the center of attention."

"No!" she shouted. She didn't even feel his hand hitting her face. She was just lying on the floor, feeling something wet in her mouth. She realized it was her blood. It was only then that she felt the pain where he'd hit her.

"I wasn't finished yet," he said. Brooke was sure she'd seen his eyes change color for just a second. They'd turned black.


	28. Kiss with a Fist

**A/N Warning: Violence and Scary Stuff – You've been warned. **

Brooke pushed herself up, crawling back onto the motel bed. Mike looked at her, his eyes showing no emotion.

They had, however, shown her all she needed to see. She'd seen those eyes before.

"As I was saying…" he continued.

"You're _not_ my father!" Brooke said. "Who… _What_ are you?"

Mike took a deep breath, and stood, towering over the frightened girl. She flinched as he reached to run his fingers through his hair. It was only when she relaxed slightly that his fist knocked her back onto the floor.

"So," he shouted, "you figured it out. Aren't… you… just… the… _smartest_!" he said, every word punctuated by a kick at Brooke's ribs. It was almost a minute before she could breathe.

"As I was saying," he shouted, pacing the room, "you've fucked everything up now – for you, for Sam, for Jane and, yes, for dear old daddy. Just imagine how he's going to feel when they find him with his dead daughter's blood all over his hands!"

Brooke's bravado was gone. She was more terrified than she'd even been. "N…no," she sputtered, spitting blood.

"Yeah, it's a tragic story, dad finds out daughter and step-daughter were clam-diving behind his back, and decides to take out the whole family, even the poor baby, before killing himself."

Brooke vomited onto the carpet. She tried to lift herself up, but a foot on her back pushed her back down.

"Don't get up, sweetie, save your strength." He leaned down, his mouth close to her ear.

"After all, we've got a _lot_ of time to play before we're done."

"W…why are you doing this?" she sputtered.

"_Why_? Why ask why? Because," he pulled her up by the hair, "it's _fun_!" he let her head fall back onto the floor with a thud and began pacing again.

"And there's that little matter of you throwing the entire _fucking_ _universe_ out of whack by walking out of _hell_! Did you _really_ think we were gonna _let_ you do that? You don't _walk_ out of hell – sets a very bad precedent."

Brooke coughed and sputtered on the carpet. It took her several minutes to answer.

"It was all… real, wasn't it?" she finally said, in between spitting and coughing blood.

"Yes," the face of her father told her, "it's all real, and you're in the middle of it."

"What do you want?" she whimpered.

"What do we want?" Mike sounded amused by the question. "I dunno, to rip the wings off of angels, to tear down every work of man before time can rot it away." He became more agitated as he spoke, his voice rising to a shout. "…to expose the wretched, rotten heart of humanity and show God what he _really_ created!"

Reaching down he lifted Brooke up, sitting her on the bed. "…and we want you back in hell where you belong, and I want to see you suffer forever, so He can watch you suffer and weep for His stupid mistake!"

He lay on top of her, face pressed against hers. Her eyes were wide with horror, his with rage.

"…and if I have to slaughter a hundred, a thousand, or a million of you fucking _monkeys_ to do it, that's just fine."

Brooke could only weep as her dress was lifted. She tried to beg him to stop as his hand ran up her thigh.

When there was a knock on the door, he got up, and Brooke silently thanked any God who was listening.

Mike opened the motel room door to see a very angry Harrison, who shoved past him into the room.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing? This bitch belongs to _me_!" he shouted at Mike.

"Calm down boy," Mike answered. "She belongs to _all_ of us now. _You_ let her go!"

Harrison surveyed Brooke's bloody, battered body on the bed. "You can't kill her yet," he shouted, "we haven't got her _back_ yet."

"Oh she'll come back," the older man responded, placing an arm over Harrison's shoulder. "When she realizes what she's done to her family, they'll be no other place for her – isn't that right Brooke?"

Brooke shifted on the bed, trying to move against the wall and away from the men.

"What about my family?" she asked.

Mike leaned onto the bed, pressed his face very close to Brooke's, causing her to turn away. He just whispered into her ear.

"When you see them slaughtered because of _you_, you'll remember _what_ you are, and _where_ you belong."

As he spoke, his hand touched her leg. "Now, where were we?" he asked. "C'mon boy – we might as well have some fun while we're here."

Elsewhere, the desk clerk listened to the screams coming from the only room rented that night. As he turned on the "No Vacancy" sign, he chuckled, and the neon glare flickered across the blackness of his eyes.


End file.
